It's Official.

I am going back.

After months of saying, "I might go back to Russia," or "I hope I am going back to Russia" I can finally say, "God is sending me back to Russia." Team reveal is next week. It is hard to believe I am starting this process all over again, but I am thrilled and cannot wait to share this experience that is ISP with my new team. Excited to the max.

Short blog, I know, but nothing else really matters right now.

Oh, except for this. I laughed at loud for a good 34 seconds when I saw this. It is the perfect combination of two of my guilty pleasures: Harry Potter and Lady Gaga. To whoever did this, "Thank You." And thanks to Brooklyn for sharing it.

And this.

Eighty-One.

My boss and his wife had their baby! Praise the Lord for a (semi) safe delivery and a healthy Logan.

Steph, Brooke and I spent about 30 minutes shopping for Ugly Christmas Sweaters at the Goodwill today. 20 of those minutes were spent in line waiting for the cashier to ring up all the sweaters we bought. I am pretty sure we cleaned them out of anything remotely Christmas-y. Look out, CBU. They are coming.

Steffanie bought a sweater for Lucy. She basically looks like a bad advertisement for Old Navy circa 2001. I don't want to talk about it.

My "Wednesday Night Coffee Group" had a great discussion tonight about Social Justice Issues and how our generation has changed the face of "good works." This was mostly sparked by Invisible Children visiting our campus twice in the past two weeks. I am always concerned with the emotionalism behind the hearts of those students who become passionate for organizations that are not focused on spreading the Gospel. As Christians, shouldn't our focus be on worshipping and missions rather than "doing good"? K. White mentioned how we should be striving to "do great things" instead of "doing good things" and it is my prayer that my generation would strive to live out the first. Thoughts?

I am getting tired of "The Office" neglecting the Michael + Holly story. It is almost (AL-most) enough to make me stop watching. "30 Rock" has been stellar this season. Jenna is ridiculous and I love her for it. Even "Saturday Night Live" has been holding their own so far. I was very impressed with Taylor Swift last week, but a little disappointed Kanye was no where to be seen...

Is it just me, or should handicapped people be offended by Lady Gaga? "Paparazzi" was out of control. She is a train-wreck to watch and I am officially on board.

Steph wants me to get a Tumblr. I feel I should restrain and press on building on my two year-old blog. Thoughts?

Photo Credit.

This Is For You, Jenny Lee.

This is Jenny and Mark. They have the pleasure of getting to know me better this year through one-on-ones. Oh, how lucky they are! Jenny mentioned that I had not blogged in a while, so this is to keep her at bay for a while. Also, she drew on my neck today. "It's a bird!"

Last night I finally listened to what God has been trying to tell me for a few months now. Not that I wasn't obeying before, I just didn't get the point of the lessons. I think I figured it out how: It's not about me. I am not speaking in terms of selfishness, but really ultimate goals. None of it is about me. Working at CBU, investing in students, going on ISP, going to Russia; not about me. I spend so much time worrying about how I will get something done or how I will figure out a solution to a pressing problem or how I will raise money or how this will change me or what I can learn from it all when really...none of those concerns matter. God's glorification is all that matters. Period. New life motto [sorry, Ima Boots]: n.a.m. - not about me. Also, it reminds me of Vietnam...probably not the best correlation.

On a more serious note, NBC's Thursday Night Lineup begins TOMORROW. "The Office," "Parks and Recreation," and a very special "SNL Weekend Update" kick off tomorrow night and I have high expectation. Here is what I expect, BJ Novak, for Season 6. [Potential Spoiler Alert] 1) Ryan to be kicked off the show for good. His character is old, uninteresting and now just over the top. Let it go. 2) Michael and Holly to get back together. Their's is the only interesting storyline now. Develop what little you have going for you. 3) Jim and Pam to get their happy ending and just leave it at that and 4) To end the show. Season 2 was the best and it has been a slow (but steady) downhill roll since. End on top. Bow out gracefully and let "30 Rock" take it's rightful place as the funniest show on TV.

Speaking of "30 Rock," it is nominated for TWENTY-TWO Emmy's. One Emmy for every viewer! [That joke would have killed on "Weekend Update".] Seriously, if you aren't watching "30 Rock," start now. I've been saying it for a while: it's the funniest show on TV. Season 4 doesn't start until October 15 so you have plenty of time to catch up. Tina Fey can do no wrong.

This girl makes me laugh every time I see her. Honestly, what on Earth is going on in this picture?

And finally, this is [officially] my new favorite song.

Seventy-Nine.

CBU stole their theme for New Student Orientation from my blog. But the design, done by one of our amazing CAB students, is fantastic. You are welcome, CBU.

My job is awesome. I get paid to invest in the lives of students. There are times when I will be sitting in a meeting or working on some project (probably printing posters) and think to myself, "I cannot believe God opened the doors for me to be here." I am thankful, to say the least. My staff makes me laugh every single day. And each one of our staff members challenges me in different ways. Photos of our awesome staff can be found here.

I am personally honored when people tell me I am funny. I consider that a great compliment and I thoroughly enjoy making people laugh. But my greatest fear is that the school year will end and I will have come across as a fun person to be around who makes jokes, rather than a person who really took the time to invest into the lives of those around her. I want my staff to walk away feeling as if I was intentional and genuine. And funny. Hopefully I will be able to find the perfect balance this year. Thanks to my ISP team for letting me this practice with them.

"Project Runway" is back. Make it work. NBC's Thursday night line-up comes back in less than a month.

Photo credit.

"Angry Hurts My Throat."

This makes me laugh every time. I think Lisa Kudrow and I would make great friends. And also great music.

Too Wonderful.

Here are my thoughts while reading at lunch at Panera today:

There are moments, sometimes periods, in life where I struggle to understand how God works and I question what He is doing. It is so easy to throw my hands in the air, cry out and, basically, tell God He is wrong and that He needs to start doing things the way I want them to be done. It is easy to question His plan and ask, "Why couldn't you have done this instead?" or "Why can't you just do it this way?" While I so desperately want to have that reaction and it is often my initial plan, I already know what God is going to say. My friend Job heard the speech LONG before I did.

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone-while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?" Job 38:4-11

But wait, there's more-

"Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself? Do you have an arm like God's and can your voice thunder like his? Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor, and clothe yourself in honor and majesty. Unleash the fury of your wrath, look at every proud man and bring him low, look at every proud man and humble him crush the wicked where they stand. Bury them all in the dust together; shroud their faces in the grave. Then I myself will admit to you that your own right hand can save you." Job 40:8-14

After a speech like that, all I can do is answer like Job. "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." Job 42:2-3

Letting my knowledge-less self obscure God's counsel deserves the slap upside the head that God provides. I cannot create an entire universe, I can't clothe myself in majesty (only in American Apparel) and I most definitely cannot save myself. It is so easy to forget who is the created and who is the Creator. God's plan, however mysterious, is perfect. We cannot see the future, we cannot see the completed project. We only see a small portion of the design plans. Yes, they look a mess right now, but I have hope that they are too wonderful for me to know.

Side-note: Panera has THE BEST French Onion Soup.

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Lessons One, Two and Three.

Today marks one month since my return from Russia. I have had 31 days to do nothing but reflect on my trip and listen to what God is trying to tell me. There are three "areas of improvement" that I feel God has targeted. Feel free to highlight more, if I missed any. Perhaps the biggest thing I have learned is to be content in His timing. Content in how and when He will provide a job, a career, a future, a home a good night's rest; whatever it may be. Just being content in knowing that what He has planned is infinitely better than anything I could come up with on my own. Asking God to work according to what I think is the opportune moment is like the child telling the parent when she wants to go to bed. And that is a terrible strategy, according to Jo Frost.

Thankfully, learning to wait on God's timing has also produced faith. It is amazing how your prayer life can expand when you are constantly asking God to grant you contentment in His will. It is even more amazing how your petty little prayer for contentment can so easily turn into a prayer for the hurting, the serving and the lost. I have been challenge recently to be direct in my prayer life. No more cliches that I've picked up over the years or fancy verbage because it sounds "more holy." Just direct conversation with our Creator. More importantly, I've cut out the use of the word "just." "Lord, I pray that you will just...." God doesn't "just" do anything. He does according to His plan. There are no small acts in Kingdom service, only mighty ones waiting to bloom at the right time.

Finally, the future. I was sidetracked for a while there. Reading my previous posts will tell you that. I was driven by a dream that was not Kingdom-focused, and it took me a while to hear God calling me to something else. If you haven't noticed, I have YET to post about Tina Fey, "30 Rock," or "Saturday Night Live." If you really know me, you know this is a big step. Not that my love for any of the mentioned (and "The Office") has changed, but their importance has been knocked down a few much-needed pegs (sorry, Tina). When your heart changes, your career path is likely to change as well. So instead of being a sketch-comedy writer in New York City, maybe I will be a missionary in New York City. Let's face it, they need Jesus.

There they are, my three post-Russian Lessons. It is pretty humbling the things you can learn in Russia. Also, I know how to say, "Caution, the doors are closing" in Russian. Bonus!

Striving to be Kingdom-focused.

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23.

Thursday, June 25th:

Surprise Guest. Brooklyn Wagner is here. Lunch at Taco Bell. Downtown Orange. Antique "shopping." Mr. C's Record Store. MJ dies. Hang out times at home with Steff and Brooklyn.

Friday, June 26th:

Sleep in. Lunch at Panera. Hunt for Nordstrom. Hunt for Toms shoes. Raid CVS. BBQ Chicken. Mashed Potatoes. Salad. Best homemade dinner ever. Dollar theater. Disneyland fireworks from the roof of the parking garage. Empty mall. "17 Again" for $.175.

Saturday, June 27th:

Turn 23. Costco pizza and chickenbake for lunch. FINALLY fulfill teenage dream of visiting Gwen Stefani's old house. Steff's old home. Chipotle. "Year One." Nintendo Wii. Quality friend time. Lose at Dodgeball to Kyle 30 times. Win once.

Sunday, June 28th:

Taco Bell lunch. Barton Mansion. Ponderosa Pines. Bye to Brooklyn. Presents from family. Lucille's for dinner. Best cake ever. Quality family time. Perfect end to a perfect birthday celebration.

Thanks for making 23 a birthday worth celebrating.

Photo credit.

Found a dollar theater right across the street from our apartment. Seeing "17 Again" for $1.75. AND we saw the Disneyland fireworks from our parking garage roof. Orange County is growing on me.

James 1:27

Here are some things I have learned/pondered during my time of unemployment:

- Every episode of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" should be an hour long.

- It is hard to type with your dog sitting on your lap.

- Why don't people just stop going on "Maury"?

- Updating your Mac after ignoring it for three weeks can do WONDERS to its processing.

- Living 10 minutes from In-N-Out is anything but ideal.

- Lady GaGa is not good at innuendoes.

- There is an episode of "Friends" that compliments your every emotion.

- There is ALWAYS something new to read in the Bible. No matter how many times you have read it.

That last one is really what this post is about. I am continually amazed at how God uses the things that are often most familiar to us to teach us something new. Just when you think you have read a verse or a chapter more than you can handle and you believe you have gotten all you can out of those words, God brings about a new way to apply them. The Bible is the most transformative piece of literature. I would say it is the Madonna of literature, but I am pretty sure that is blasphemous and it is not Blasphemy Day.

While in Russia, our team would trade off leading devos each day and I was always blown away at how a team member would select a devo based on a passage of scripture that I had read (and embarrassingly enough, overlooked) several times before. Be that Matthew 25:31-46, Psalm 23, Romans 12 or 1 Peter 1,well-known passages were being read that took on new meaning and I began to wonder what else I had been failing to notice while spending time in the Word. Then I found it.

James is my go-to book. I absolutely love it and I have adopted James 1:2-4 as my "life verses." I have read it countless times and spent a week reading the entire book every night, to see what more I could draw from it. It is ironic that God had to send me to Russia to get me to notice verse 27 of chapter 1: "Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." How incredibly appropriate for the ministry we were doing in Russia! I was struck and made it a point to memorize the verse while serving with Sunergos.

I challenge you to take a closer look at what God is trying to tell you. Maybe it is right under your nose. Or maybe it is somewhere less cliche.