a work in progress.

Living in Reality.

2010-12-12T16:23:00.000-08:00

There are some days when it would really pay off to have her courage.

Anyone who knows me well knows this movie is dear to my heart. (Excuse the Harlequin-esque nature of the poster.) I don't remember the first time I saw it, and my childhood is riddled with memories of watching famous scene after famous scene with my mom in our living room. I was raised on this movie. Along with "The Phantom of the Opera," I have had a longer relationship with "Gone With the Wind" than I have with Christianity. (Don't worry; Jesus is still #1.)

I read the book for the first time in high school and fell in love with it. After years of it sitting on the shelf, I decided to reread it, probably thanks to a certain MOB staff member whose accent makes me miss the familiar lines spoken around the fields of Tara. I am about half-way through and, I have to say, it is better than I remember. The glory of the old South makes me wish my roots ran deep in the red clay of Civil War history rather than being of English decent and, as a writer by heart, Mitchell is awe-inspiring. Scarlett O'Hara might just be the best depiction of character development I have ever read and the photo represents my favorite phase of Scarlett's transformation. As much as I love the movie, it does her NO justice during this part of her journey. She is propelled purely by courage and an unbridled spirit. The obstacles she overcomes are, for a person of her stature, incomprehensible. She is one of, if not the, strongest female literary figure ever crafted by an American author. I challenge you to find a rival.

The tragedy is she isn't real. As well as I know the story and can recite the lines and anticipate what is coming up next in the novel, it is completely fabricated. Imaginary. Her strength and determination do not exist. And yes, that pains me a little to admit.

While I am picking my way through "Gone With the Wind," I've slowly been working my way through another well-known book. This past summer was a rough one and I spent a great deal of quality time with God. One of the things He revealed to me is that I cannot claim to love Him if I do not know Him. So I began reading through the Bible, in its entirety, for the first time. While there are many things I do not understand about why certain things were kept in the Bible, I am blown away by the faith of the people of the Old Testament. Their faith in adversity, periods of silences from God, trust in the midst of seemingly ridiculous commands and requests is incredible and almost too much to grasp. While it may not be as easy a read, they make Scarlett look weak. It makes me realize how sorry I can be for myself and how complaining has no right to be my first reaction to any circumstance. God is a far more complex being than I gave Him credit for and I'm amazed I have lived all these years without bothering to discover this sooner. Shame on me.

What gives me encouragement is this: While I can only wish I had the strength of Scarlett O'Hara, I can pray for faith of God's people. I think reality is the better end of the deal in this case.

Russian Shoes.

2010-10-25T22:28:00.000-07:00

The significance of this photo is as follows:

1) This is the final version of my Masters Thesis in a PDF.

2) You cannot edit a PDF.

3) Ergo, this is my Masters Thesis in its entirety.

Yes, I have finished. The final count is 137 pages of creative nonfiction, 146 pages total counting the aesthetic statement and all the other required "noncreative" pages. It is currently on its way to be bound and then sent to my advisor and department supervisor for a final signature before taking its permanent home on the shelves of the National University library. Thank you, Lord for perseverance!

It is hard to believe I've reached the end of this adventure. I am relieved to be done with the manuscript; it was getting exhausting to continue reliving events that happened well over a year ago now. To those who were involved (and yes, you are in the manuscript), I hope I represented our story well and put down the details accurately. I am ready to finally put Russia 2009 to rest.

Done and done.

"Меня зовут Кортни"

2010-06-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

I turn 24 years old today. Thanks to everyone for the warm birthday wishes. Facebook has done wonders for birthdays.

I feel a long blog entry is due, considering the best job God has ever blessed me with has ended and I am closing in on finishing my Masters Thesis, but the only thing that is on my heart is Russia. I found this map of St. Petersburg on Flickr. While I do not get about 3/4's of the references and could not point out to you where anything is (try as I might I still get turned around in the streets of St. Petersburg) I think it is beautiful. One of the things that is so fascinating about traveling to a country more than 234 years old is the history behind everything. I spent an afternoon wandering the city with a college student and friend and every building seemed to have a story to it, a history other than "it was built for offices." And my tour guide took such pride in her city; not out of arrogance, but out of respect. This map reflects that respect so perfectly.

I miss it terribly. But I know God is faithful and that His plans are exponentially better than my own. So, now I wait for them to unfold.

All right, 24. Let's see what you got.

Photo credit.

Love This.

2010-03-06T21:15:00.000-08:00

What a great photo. 100% her.

My blog posts make me look like I suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder. I jump from "30 Rock" to quoting Isaiah to Lady Gaga. It proves my theory that you will find a million things to do instead of working on homework, even though completion of your Masters degree is only four months away.

...is it August yet?

85.

2010-03-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

⁵ I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. ⁶ My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. ⁷ O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. ⁸He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.

Psalm 130:5-8

Life happens quickly, often without my even noticing it. I think the only part of my post-college life that has been constant is change. I look at my journey this past year and a half and see a timeline that could only have been drawn by God himself, and it amazes me how faithful He has been through my bickering and complaining. He has allowed me to share it with some amazing people and it's been the smiles and encouragement of these three new friends (#1, #2 & #3) that has been one of the best surprises of my constantly-changing life.

The season of waiting has hit my social group. The school year is rapidly coming to an end and just about every student I know is gripped with fear at the thought of what to do after May first. I may not be a college student, but I am definitely floating in the same boat as them. I believe I have been obedient and followed a path that God paved for me, but I can only see what lies ahead for a few more steps. Life as a graduate student ends for me in August and my job ends two months before that. For now, there is nothing I can do in regards to the future. There are many questions to which I have no answer, and not just about my job, but about the future as a whole.

So I wait.

And I am so thankful to be waiting in the hands of the Almighty.

Lead me to Your heart.

Photo credit.

Isaiah 40:28-31

2010-01-21T13:37:00.000-08:00

"Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can

fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

MC Mike Scott and DJ Jazzy Flax.

2009-12-26T13:01:00.000-08:00

THIS is all I want for Christmas. C'mon, writers of "The Office!" Give us Holly for Christmas.

Merry (post) Christmas, everyone. Isaiah 9:6 & 7.

It's Official.

2009-12-03T15:47:00.000-08:00

I am going back.

After months of saying, "I might go back to Russia," or "I hope I am going back to Russia" I can finally say, "God is sending me back to Russia." Team reveal is next week. It is hard to believe I am starting this process all over again, but I am thrilled and cannot wait to share this experience that is ISP with my new team. Excited to the max.

Short blog, I know, but nothing else really matters right now.

Oh, except for this. I laughed at loud for a good 34 seconds when I saw this. It is the perfect combination of two of my guilty pleasures: Harry Potter and Lady Gaga. To whoever did this, "Thank You." And thanks to Brooklyn for sharing it.

And this.

Eighty-One.

2009-11-11T21:17:00.000-08:00

My boss and his wife had their baby! Praise the Lord for a (semi) safe delivery and a healthy Logan.

Steph, Brooke and I spent about 30 minutes shopping for Ugly Christmas Sweaters at the Goodwill today. 20 of those minutes were spent in line waiting for the cashier to ring up all the sweaters we bought. I am pretty sure we cleaned them out of anything remotely Christmas-y. Look out, CBU. They are coming.

Steffanie bought a sweater for Lucy. She basically looks like a bad advertisement for Old Navy circa 2001. I don't want to talk about it.

My "Wednesday Night Coffee Group" had a great discussion tonight about Social Justice Issues and how our generation has changed the face of "good works." This was mostly sparked by Invisible Children visiting our campus twice in the past two weeks. I am always concerned with the emotionalism behind the hearts of those students who become passionate for organizations that are not focused on spreading the Gospel. As Christians, shouldn't our focus be on worshipping and missions rather than "doing good"? K. White mentioned how we should be striving to "do great things" instead of "doing good things" and it is my prayer that my generation would strive to live out the first. Thoughts?

I am getting tired of "The Office" neglecting the Michael + Holly story. It is almost (AL-most) enough to make me stop watching. "30 Rock" has been stellar this season. Jenna is ridiculous and I love her for it. Even "Saturday Night Live" has been holding their own so far. I was very impressed with Taylor Swift last week, but a little disappointed Kanye was no where to be seen...

Is it just me, or should handicapped people be offended by Lady Gaga? "Paparazzi" was out of control. She is a train-wreck to watch and I am officially on board.

Steph wants me to get a Tumblr. I feel I should restrain and press on building on my two year-old blog. Thoughts?

Photo Credit.

This Is For You, Jenny Lee.

2009-09-16T17:29:00.000-07:00

This is Jenny and Mark. They have the pleasure of getting to know me better this year through one-on-ones. Oh, how lucky they are! Jenny mentioned that I had not blogged in a while, so this is to keep her at bay for a while. Also, she drew on my neck today. "It's a bird!"

Last night I finally listened to what God has been trying to tell me for a few months now. Not that I wasn't obeying before, I just didn't get the point of the lessons. I think I figured it out how: It's not about me. I am not speaking in terms of selfishness, but really ultimate goals. None of it is about me. Working at CBU, investing in students, going on ISP, going to Russia; not about me. I spend so much time worrying about how I will get something done or how I will figure out a solution to a pressing problem or how I will raise money or how this will change me or what I can learn from it all when really...none of those concerns matter. God's glorification is all that matters. Period. New life motto [sorry, Ima Boots]: n.a.m. - not about me. Also, it reminds me of Vietnam...probably not the best correlation.

On a more serious note, NBC's Thursday Night Lineup begins TOMORROW. "The Office," "Parks and Recreation," and a very special "SNL Weekend Update" kick off tomorrow night and I have high expectation. Here is what I expect, BJ Novak, for Season 6. [Potential Spoiler Alert] 1) Ryan to be kicked off the show for good. His character is old, uninteresting and now just over the top. Let it go. 2) Michael and Holly to get back together. Their's is the only interesting storyline now. Develop what little you have going for you. 3) Jim and Pam to get their happy ending and just leave it at that and 4) To end the show. Season 2 was the best and it has been a slow (but steady) downhill roll since. End on top. Bow out gracefully and let "30 Rock" take it's rightful place as the funniest show on TV.

Speaking of "30 Rock," it is nominated for TWENTY-TWO Emmy's. One Emmy for every viewer! [That joke would have killed on "Weekend Update".] Seriously, if you aren't watching "30 Rock," start now. I've been saying it for a while: it's the funniest show on TV. Season 4 doesn't start until October 15 so you have plenty of time to catch up. Tina Fey can do no wrong.

This girl makes me laugh every time I see her. Honestly, what on Earth is going on in this picture?

And finally, this is [officially] my new favorite song.

Seventy-Nine.

2009-08-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

CBU stole their theme for New Student Orientation from my blog. But the design, done by one of our amazing CAB students, is fantastic. You are welcome, CBU.

My job is awesome. I get paid to invest in the lives of students. There are times when I will be sitting in a meeting or working on some project (probably printing posters) and think to myself, "I cannot believe God opened the doors for me to be here." I am thankful, to say the least. My staff makes me laugh every single day. And each one of our staff members challenges me in different ways. Photos of our awesome staff can be found here.

I am personally honored when people tell me I am funny. I consider that a great compliment and I thoroughly enjoy making people laugh. But my greatest fear is that the school year will end and I will have come across as a fun person to be around who makes jokes, rather than a person who really took the time to invest into the lives of those around her. I want my staff to walk away feeling as if I was intentional and genuine. And funny. Hopefully I will be able to find the perfect balance this year. Thanks to my ISP team for letting me this practice with them.

"Project Runway" is back. Make it work. NBC's Thursday night line-up comes back in less than a month.

Photo credit.

"Angry Hurts My Throat."

2009-07-30T17:44:00.000-07:00

This makes me laugh every time. I think Lisa Kudrow and I would make great friends. And also great music.

Too Wonderful.

2009-07-13T15:00:00.000-07:00

Here are my thoughts while reading at lunch at Panera today:

There are moments, sometimes periods, in life where I struggle to understand how God works and I question what He is doing. It is so easy to throw my hands in the air, cry out and, basically, tell God He is wrong and that He needs to start doing things the way I want them to be done. It is easy to question His plan and ask, "Why couldn't you have done this instead?" or "Why can't you just do it this way?" While I so desperately want to have that reaction and it is often my initial plan, I already know what God is going to say. My friend Job heard the speech LONG before I did.

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone-while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?" Job 38:4-11

But wait, there's more-

"Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself? Do you have an arm like God's and can your voice thunder like his? Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor, and clothe yourself in honor and majesty. Unleash the fury of your wrath, look at every proud man and bring him low, look at every proud man and humble him crush the wicked where they stand. Bury them all in the dust together; shroud their faces in the grave. Then I myself will admit to you that your own right hand can save you." Job 40:8-14

After a speech like that, all I can do is answer like Job. "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." Job 42:2-3

Letting my knowledge-less self obscure God's counsel deserves the slap upside the head that God provides. I cannot create an entire universe, I can't clothe myself in majesty (only in American Apparel) and I most definitely cannot save myself. It is so easy to forget who is the created and who is the Creator. God's plan, however mysterious, is perfect. We cannot see the future, we cannot see the completed project. We only see a small portion of the design plans. Yes, they look a mess right now, but I have hope that they are too wonderful for me to know.

Side-note: Panera has THE BEST French Onion Soup.

Photo credit.

Lessons One, Two and Three.

2009-07-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

Today marks one month since my return from Russia. I have had 31 days to do nothing but reflect on my trip and listen to what God is trying to tell me. There are three "areas of improvement" that I feel God has targeted. Feel free to highlight more, if I missed any. Perhaps the biggest thing I have learned is to be content in His timing. Content in how and when He will provide a job, a career, a future, a home a good night's rest; whatever it may be. Just being content in knowing that what He has planned is infinitely better than anything I could come up with on my own. Asking God to work according to what I think is the opportune moment is like the child telling the parent when she wants to go to bed. And that is a terrible strategy, according to Jo Frost.

Thankfully, learning to wait on God's timing has also produced faith. It is amazing how your prayer life can expand when you are constantly asking God to grant you contentment in His will. It is even more amazing how your petty little prayer for contentment can so easily turn into a prayer for the hurting, the serving and the lost. I have been challenge recently to be direct in my prayer life. No more cliches that I've picked up over the years or fancy verbage because it sounds "more holy." Just direct conversation with our Creator. More importantly, I've cut out the use of the word "just." "Lord, I pray that you will just...." God doesn't "just" do anything. He does according to His plan. There are no small acts in Kingdom service, only mighty ones waiting to bloom at the right time.

Finally, the future. I was sidetracked for a while there. Reading my previous posts will tell you that. I was driven by a dream that was not Kingdom-focused, and it took me a while to hear God calling me to something else. If you haven't noticed, I have YET to post about Tina Fey, "30 Rock," or "Saturday Night Live." If you really know me, you know this is a big step. Not that my love for any of the mentioned (and "The Office") has changed, but their importance has been knocked down a few much-needed pegs (sorry, Tina). When your heart changes, your career path is likely to change as well. So instead of being a sketch-comedy writer in New York City, maybe I will be a missionary in New York City. Let's face it, they need Jesus.

There they are, my three post-Russian Lessons. It is pretty humbling the things you can learn in Russia. Also, I know how to say, "Caution, the doors are closing" in Russian. Bonus!

Striving to be Kingdom-focused.

Photo credit.

Twenty-Three Years.

2009-06-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

Thursday, June 25th:

Surprise Guest. Brooklyn Wagner is here. Lunch at Taco Bell. Downtown Orange. Antique "shopping." Mr. C's Record Store. MJ dies. Hang out times at home with Steff and Brooklyn.

Friday, June 26th:

Sleep in. Lunch at Panera. Hunt for Nordstrom. Hunt for Toms shoes. Raid CVS. BBQ Chicken. Mashed Potatoes. Salad. Best homemade dinner ever. Dollar theater. Disneyland fireworks from the roof of the parking garage. Empty mall. "17 Again" for $.175.

Saturday, June 27th:

Turn 23. Costco pizza and chickenbake for lunch. FINALLY fulfill teenage dream of visiting Gwen Stefani's old house. Steff's old home. Chipotle. "Year One." Nintendo Wii. Quality friend time. Lose at Dodgeball to Kyle 30 times. Win once.

Sunday, June 28th:

Taco Bell lunch. Barton Mansion. Ponderosa Pines. Bye to Brooklyn. Presents from family. Lucille's for dinner. Best cake ever. Quality family time. Perfect end to a perfect birthday celebration.

Thanks for making 23 a birthday worth celebrating.

Photo credit.

James 1:27

2009-06-22T15:47:00.001-07:00

Here are some things I have learned/pondered during my time of unemployment:

- Every episode of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" should be an hour long.

- It is hard to type with your dog sitting on your lap.

- Why don't people just stop going on "Maury"?

- Updating your Mac after ignoring it for three weeks can do WONDERS to its processing.

- Living 10 minutes from In-N-Out is anything but ideal.

- Lady GaGa is not good at innuendoes.

- There is an episode of "Friends" that compliments your every emotion.

- There is ALWAYS something new to read in the Bible. No matter how many times you have read it.

That last one is really what this post is about. I am continually amazed at how God uses the things that are often most familiar to us to teach us something new. Just when you think you have read a verse or a chapter more than you can handle and you believe you have gotten all you can out of those words, God brings about a new way to apply them. The Bible is the most transformative piece of literature. I would say it is the Madonna of literature, but I am pretty sure that is blasphemous and it is not Blasphemy Day.

While in Russia, our team would trade off leading devos each day and I was always blown away at how a team member would select a devo based on a passage of scripture that I had read (and embarrassingly enough, overlooked) several times before. Be that Matthew 25:31-46, Psalm 23, Romans 12 or 1 Peter 1,well-known passages were being read that took on new meaning and I began to wonder what else I had been failing to notice while spending time in the Word. Then I found it.

James is my go-to book. I absolutely love it and I have adopted James 1:2-4 as my "life verses." I have read it countless times and spent a week reading the entire book every night, to see what more I could draw from it. It is ironic that God had to send me to Russia to get me to notice verse 27 of chapter 1: "Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." How incredibly appropriate for the ministry we were doing in Russia! I was struck and made it a point to memorize the verse while serving with Sunergos.

I challenge you to take a closer look at what God is trying to tell you. Maybe it is right under your nose. Or maybe it is somewhere less cliche.

Greater Things Are Still To Come.

2009-06-08T15:24:00.000-07:00

How in the world do you sum up three weeks? Impossible. I can tell you that the above photo captures the high of my trip, without a doubt. More on that later.

Here are the answers to three questions I hope to never be asked again: No, I did not try any Russia Vodka. Yes, we sang songs from "Anastasia" everywhere we went. No, I did not eat any borscht.

God worked amazing miracles during our trip. When I look back on it, the best description that comes to mind is, "demonstration of power." We saw God demonstrate His power in faith-restoring ways, and we saw what happens when Satan unleashes his. It was a time of growth and, as Steffanie says, "I hate growth." I witnesses students grow in their faith, in having peace with God's plan and in leadership. It was amazing to see what God can pull out of you in just twenty short days.

The kids at the Transit Center were nothing short of fantastic. Their spirits are so warm and open, even if some of them pretend to have tough exteriors. They are in need of knowing they are loved, knowing that they matter and knowing that someone, anyone cares for them. Getting to know them was the best thing about the trip, and having a select few open up to us about their lives was a bonus gift. We wanted to give the kids anything they asked for, and were able to fill some requests, but there was one that was impossible for us to make happen: they wanted to go outside. The kids living on the first floor of the transit center are not allowed outside for various reasons. Some of them had not been outside in over two weeks. Every day we would ask them what they wanted to do and they all had the same answer, "Go outside." It was especially heartbreaking when the upstairs kids went out to play and those of us downstairs had to watch them from the window. One boy had an extremely hard time watching from behind a barred-window as his brother ran around in the sunshine. We knew it was for the best that they were not allowed out, but the desire to make that dream a reality was still there.

Thankfully, God is bigger than barred-windows. He granted a miracle to our fieldworker, Tanya, and opened a door we never thought would be opened. June 1 is Children at Risk Day and Saint Petersburg was having a huge celebration in Palace Square where kids from across the city were invited to come and play games and paint and listen to a concert and have fun. The teachers at the Transit Center agreed to let the kids, all of them, go to the celebration if we took them. Walking hand-in-hand with them as they headed outside for the first time in weeks was...powerful. The entire day was too good to be true and, without a doubt, the highlight of the trip. I could go back and relive that day over and over again.

I have countless other stories to share: visiting the Hermitage, Kristie's "bad day," seeing "Swan Lake," eating crepes, the creepy guys on the metro who were yelling at Mical, buying fake bananas, my ambulance ride, almost running over a dog, attending a deaf church or why I will never eat Subway again are just a few of them. I'd be more than happy to share them, if you ask. Otherwise know that my trip was amazing and life-changing. Thanks for your prayers and support. Continue praying for the kids at the Transit Center and the relationships that were built while we were there.

Doo-doot-doo.

By the way, what the heck was the season finale of "The Office" about?! C'mon, Michael, go after Holly!

Hello, St. Petersburg.

2009-05-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

The picture pretty much says it all. Be praying. You can check for updates here. We are team Russia: A. See you in June.

70.

2009-05-11T09:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Saturday Night Live,

Really? REALLY?! TWO original sketches?! That is all you could come up with for Justin Timberlake? TWO?! C'mon! Justin is funny, he makes a good host but the repetitive sketches are diminishing his appeal and QUICKLY. "Bring it on in to ____ville!" has been done THREE times. Barry Gibb talk show has been done THREE times. Target Lady is a repeat character. YOU EVEN BROUGHT BACK the ____ In A Box boys. Why? It was a CLASSIC (and frustratingly popular) Digital Short that could have been left alone. Four microwaved-left-over sketches in one show is a little excessive, don't you think? The Immagrant Sketch was hilarious and even the Pirates sketch was tolerable (thanks to Kristen Wiig's few lines) but those were the only memorable moments of the show. Next time Justin Timberlake hosts, can't we all think outside the box (small pun intended...)?

Sincerely,

Courtney

Dear Justin Timberlake,

On May 9th, you hosted Saturday Night Live and you made a joke saying that your doing numerous surprise appearances on SNL would never get old.

It has. Please stop.

Courtney

Evil Computers.

2009-05-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

"Everyone always wants new things. Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And, to me, the choice is easy."

- Michael Scott

Happy "Office" Thursday. And Happy National Day of Prayer.

Side note: For Christians, isn't every day a National Day of Prayer?

One Week and Counting.

2009-05-06T14:01:00.000-07:00

I love this family.

At exactly this time next week I will be stuck in LA traffic trying to get to LAX to fly to Paris, Frace to fly to St. Petersburg, Russia to work with orphans to serve God for three weeks. Holy wow. I am incredibly excited and nervous and scared and thrilled all at the same time. Be praying for safe travel, final monies to come rollin' in, the hearts of the kids we are going to work with and that no one shows up to the airport with an expired passport. While you are praying, the dreaded Swine Flu has postponed the Mexico ISP team for the time being. Pray God works out those details soon so they can cross that border and minister to the world's most unreached people group: the deaf community.

Steffanie graduated. I loved having her family here and being busy with group lunches and dinners and Dodger's games and a crazy carpool schedule. Quality best friend and good people time. A good majority of my CBU friends graduated the following Saturday. It is very weird to see your core group of friends leave school for good. I was happy for each of them, but sad to know my connections to CBU are getting smaller and smaller with each graduation ceremony.

God worked a miracle in the whole apartment situation. If you didn't know, it was a constant stress and worry for months and even when we had a solution, it was not a joyous one. Then an employee of our future residency made a mistake and saved us $90 a month AND moved up our move in day by NINE DAYS. What a relief. So we are officially saying goodbye to Riverside and hello to Orange. Definitely mixed emotions involved in that process, but for now I must focus on the massive Russia-shaped task I have in front of me.

Sutton Foster was nominated for her third Tony Award. I never really liked Shrek, but if the musical version gives her a second Tony for Best Actress in a Musical, then I can learn to love it. I hope she wins. Patti Lupone followed by Sutton Foster is a pretty awesome record for Tony winners.

I was thrilled to have Michael Scott back on Thursday night's "The Office." Dunder Mifflin was just not the same without him and his craziness. "30 Rock" was ridiculously funny. One of their best this season. Tracy pulling the "Race Card" on Liz was priceless and I have been singing "Night Cheese" all week. I love Leslie Knope. This week's "Parks and Recreation" was the best yet. Leslie getting into the poo fight with the kids and then crying on camera over breaking a company policy was great. I'm hoping the show gets renewed for a second season.

That's all for now. Busy week ahead of me. Busier 21 days just around the corner.

Free Time Is A Myth.

2009-04-30T14:52:00.000-07:00

Postsecret.

I am wearing my Mates of State shirt in memory of the awe-inspiring concert I was attending on this very day one week ago. What I wouldn't give for a time machine....

Steffanie is graduating....again. Masters degree. Counseling ministries. She will analyze you when she talks to you. My best friend is the coolest.

Things are busy. Russia is in two weeks. Yikes. Please be praying. I have no other news of consequence. Gotta make it to Monday, then I can shift my focus to Russia and really enjoy the last few days in Apartment 631. Weird. Sad. Exciting.

Here's a quote to make you smile. Enjoy.

"I worked until about 2:45 a.m. And then I had to decide if I wanted to spend the night with Michael editing in his office and Dwight watching Michael edit in his office, or drive home and probably fall asleep at the wheel and die in a fiery car wreck. I passed out on my keyboard trying to decide."

- Pam Beesly.

The Rundown.

2009-04-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

WHERE DO I START?

SO worth missing NBC's Thursday Night. Ah, Mates of State was amazing. Their chemistry is ADORABLE and their musical talent is unreal. My ONLY complaint (seconded by Steffanie) was that you could not see Kori's hands flying across the electric organ/synth. They put on a great live performance. I want to see them live every week. They played a good portion of old stuff, and the suspected "Haha," "The Re-Arranger," "Get Better" and "Now." It was awesome to hear the audience practically shouting along to "The Re-Arranger." It was just a few months ago that I was listening to Brooklyn and Liz singing along to that song and wondering who this band was. Now I am self proclaimed super fan donning a band shirt and buying every song I can get my hands on. If only I had remembered to grab my camera out of my purse before having Steffanie take it back to the car...

The opening act, Judgement Day, was unbelievable. While I am not a fan of heavy metal, seeing it being performed by a three-man band made up of only drums, a cello and a violin was pretty ridiculous. By far, the fastest musicians I have seen on a stringed instruments. Crazy San Franciscans.

The night consisted of crazy LA people, a random "Bar" in the middle of everything, Jimmy Kimmel Live shutting down Hollywood Blvd, Depeche Mode, a rooftop party, two rude audience members who shoved their way past Liz and Steff to stand right in front of me and Brooklyn, a creeper Taco Bell stalker, a pit stop at Denny's where Brooklyn carefully watched out for Ted Bundy and an impersonation of Steffanie's laugh that had the car dying for a good seven minutes. And let me not fail to mention the "Cheers To You" CD Steffanie received as an early graduation present from the ever-so-nice Good Cheer Company. "All this is for you!" Ah...good times.

"Everything's Gonna Get Lighter."

2009-04-23T09:03:00.000-07:00

TONIGHT.

I might write this letter and actually mail it:

Dear Leslie Feist,
I am sorry that Barnes and Noble ruined your first album for me, and I now see the error of my ways. How can I be as awesome as you? Thanks.

New "Parks and Recreation," "The Office," and "30 Rock" tonight. Watch them for me, since I can't. And during the commercial breaks, take a moment to think about the amazing concert that I am partaking of at that very moment. Only something very special will have the power to pull me away from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Steve Carell and my future husband, and I don't expect Mates of State to disappoint. Happy "Office" Quote Day.

"Do I believe Michael posses the skills to survive in a hostile environment? Let's put it this way: no I do not."

- Dwight Schrute

Happy Earth Day.

2009-04-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

'nuff said.

10 and 15.

2009-04-20T13:46:00.000-07:00

I sit in this every morning and I don't even work in LA. Just a few more weeks of this traffic and then, I hope, a more tolerable change in commute.

Today is the 10th anniversary of the Columbine shootings. I remember my mom telling me in the car on my way home that something really bad had happened in a high school in Colorado and then watching the students being evacuated over and over again on the news that night. That image of them all holding hands and following the police officers to safety is burned in my memory.

Today, American's mourn the loss of 13 lives whereas Rwandans are currently mourning the loss of over 500,000 people during the 1994 genocide. 10,000 were murdered every day, 400 every hour, and 7 were murdered every minute. April 6 marked the 15 year anniversary of the beginning of the genocide that lasted four months. This was a massacre unparalleled by anything America has faced and it is vital for us to remember their loss and pray for their country. Although a little dated, this site offers some excellent survivor stories and gives links to organizations offering help to Rwanda and its people.

Also, Amy Poehler is on the cover of TV Guide. So yeah.

Thank You, Hillsong.

2009-04-17T09:14:00.000-07:00

Before I get to the heavy stuff, AOL shared this little article with the world this morning: "Palin Says She Considered Abortion." Now, before you go assuming that I am posting some crazy political article defending or tearing down the former VP runner, go read it and see what it has to say. The reason I am highlighting it is for this quote from Palin, describing what 2008 looked like:

"I borrowed a few clothes and had a couple of sit-down interviews -- oh, those went real well -- and soon I felt the need to provide Tina Fey with some job security," Palin said.

I always knew I liked her sense of humor. In fact, ANYONE who provides Tina Fey job security is alright in my book (including you, Janice Dickinson).

Enough Palin and on to missions. Anyone who has been involved in missions in some way or another probably recognizes this quote from John Piper's Let the Nations Be Glad:

"Missions is not the ultimate goal of the Church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn’t."

Worship is the heart of who we are as believers. Above all, we are to worship God not only in song and word, but in actions. Every thing we do is supposed to reflect His glory and bring Him praise. I feel it is very easy for churches today to miss the mark on worship. It always breaks my heart a little to hear that churches have more than one service so there can be a "traditional" service (still not really sure what that looks like) and a "contemporary" service (which, as far as I can tell, means having drums and upbeat songs). Show me where the Bible instructs us to worship according to our musical preference. I thought worship was about being surrounded by your church family and, MUCH more importantly, praising God.

That being said, I wish churches were more open to blending those traditional and contemporary services. I have visited churches all over America and what I typically see is one of two things: A) Hymns and 90's worship songs or B) Contemporary worships songs. Rarely do you find a mix of both. I was raised in an A-type church and went to a B-type chapel for school, so having a genuine taste for both has given me a genuine desire to see a blending of the two. Granted, it is rare that I find a contemporary worship song who's lyrics are as powerful as a hymn. Hymns are mmm, mmm, good and beautiful, but there are some great modern songs that many churches are missing out on because their publication date is in the 2000's. So, churches of America, please consider revamping your music library and adding this one song by Hillsong: "Mighty To Save." It hits all the main points: Jesus is God. We have to surrender everything to Him. He alone can save. We are to share that with the world.

Thanks, CBU, for teaching it to me.

Sixty.

2009-04-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

Mates of States = One week.

I think California is confused. It is April and cold outside. Never, in the history of the world, has it been cold in California in April. My tank tops and skirts are ready to we worn, so...whenever you are ready, God.

The pilot episode of "Parks and Recreation" is free for your downloading pleasure via iTunes. Check it out or, better yet, actually download it.

Ah, Russia. Our second to final team leader meeting was on Tuesday night and we went over EVERYTHING. Oh my goodness did we go over everything and it was overwhelming and scary and exciting all rolled into one and dizzled with stress and nervousness. Please be praying. There is a massive prayer request list that I could give you, but God already knows all of it. He will know what you are talking about. This prayer request is kind of like gift registry. I make a list, give it to someone then you come in and say you need to get something for me and that someone goes and gets it for you. God is the "someone" in that poorly-formed analogy, by the way. Just be praying.

For the time being, I get paid to be creative. I hope this lasts. If not, here is proof, forever solidified on the world wide web.

We have a lot of Peeps in our apartment. Candy, not people. I couldn't be happier.

Happy Office Day.

"Every time Michael's in a meeting, he makes me come in and give him a Post-It note telling him who is on the phone. I did it once, and he freaked out, he loved it so much. The thing is, he doesn't get that many calls, so he has me make them up every ten minutes."

- Pam Beesley

Wednesday.

2009-04-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Best gas prices in Riverside.

I HATE when you put food in plastic bags for your lunch and then you go to eat it and the food tastes like something else from your lunch. Eh, not good. My Cheez-Its taste like Cinnamon Toast Crunch and hay-like vitamins. So sad.

I am moving. To Orange County. I will not call it "The OC." I cannot be a part of that movement.

Almost everyday I come home from work and take a nap and almost every time I wake up from that nap, I kick myself for not being more productive with my time. Here is a list of things I could be doing instead of sleeping:

- talking to God

- reading

- writing

- getting a head start on my next class

- preparing dinner

- harmonica-ing

- playing "tag" with Lucy

- walking Lucy

- bathing Lucy

- letting the guineas run around

- eating sunflower seeds

- organizing my disaster of a storage bin

Today is the start of a new routine. Naps are no more...well, at least not every day.

He Is Risen Indeed.

2009-04-12T17:59:00.000-07:00

Happy Resurrection Sunday. Gotta love the tradition of dying hard boiled eggs in colored tablets and vinegar in celebration of the Savior conquering death and giving eternal life to those of us willing to follow Him. Ah, God's glory is properly celebrated in America.

Also, my sister said, "I smell poop...or maybe ham?"

Saturday or Riverside Is Secretly Awesome.

2009-04-11T01:38:00.000-07:00

Saturday went a little something like this:

"Hey, what's that building?" Oh, it's the Barton Mansion. Renovated and no longer yucky, but still eerie. Maybe it was the weather that made it scary or maybe it was Liz tripping after jumping off the porch or maybe it was the gross "coffee" cup on the second floor window or maybe it was the old bars on the window of the former "jail" or maybe it was the stairs where those guys from the video ran down after seeing "the ghost" or maybe it was the Farmers Insurance sign, who knows? Go see it.

"I want to be able to see this supposed 'giant Dixie cup' from the freeway otherwise- oh, there it is!" It. Is. Huge. Find it. Pose. Drink from it...just kidding, that would be gross.

"Titi's Tacos?" "NO!!! T-I-O-S Tacos!" Mexican food + "found art" sculptures and walkways made out of stone and running water. Awesome.

"What's a mausoleum?" Brockton Graveyard used to be pretty creeper, now it is cleaned up and has a green fence around it, so it looks nice and not disrespectful and littered with Goth kids and "Phantom-Of-The-Opera-esque." But the Mausoleum is not okay. Marble everything and very little lighting.

"You know who should go with us to the Santa Monica Pier?" This final activity consisted of a crazy one-man-band playing music that made no sense, getting a little to close to water at night and people-watching as we ate ice cream, funnel cake, Taco Bell, $9 shrimpies and fries. And the cherry on top of the funnel cake/ice cream was playing 6 Degrees of Separation on the way home. Amy Poehler and Sascha Baron Cohen, anyone?

All photos by B. Wagner.

Happy Amy Poehler Day.

2009-04-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

I may be at work, it may be raining, the economy may be bad, but all that matters is that tonight I get to go home and watch Amy Poehler on TV again. God is good.

It is hard to believe it was only three month ago that I told everyone at the Super Bowl Party to "Shut up and listen" when NBC released a surprise premiere commercial for her new show, "Parks and Recreation", and now the series premiere is here. It is cleverly snuggled between two episodes of "The Office" and "30 Rock," making NBC's Thursday night line-up the best it has been in years (goodbye, "E.R."), so please tune in. Happy Happy Joy Joy.

"All right, let me ask you this. Tell me if you thin this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this is before I even heard of one or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows and had a huge spike in its head. I was five. Five years old...couldn't even talk yet."

-Michael Scott

Love The Noise.

2009-04-08T09:06:00.000-07:00

Our apartment is about five feet away from the train tracks that run through Riverside. Sometimes the trains are ridiculously loud and our building shakes as it passes. But then there these trains that go by and they sound exactly like the subway trains in New York City. Those trains I love. They make me miss New York City and love California at the same time. I will be sad to leave them.

Photo by Natasja Lips. These are beautiful.

Also, my vitamins taste like hay.

Google Says.

2009-04-07T15:54:00.001-07:00

Dana and I did this one time in college when we were really bored. I wanted to relive the joy and thought some of the responses were worth sharing. Here's the story: the words in bold were typed into Google. The words not in bold are the answers that Google came up with. Interesting thing is that some (and very few) are true. Moral of the story: Google says funny things about you when you share a first name with Courtney Love.

"Courtney is..."

- "Courtney is very dangerous and can often be contagious."

- "Courtney is obviously still a little spaced out."

- "Courtney is too skanky."

- "Courtney is one of the few women in the world where being mistaken as Madonna would be a step up."

- "Courtney is back in Rehab."

Courtney wants...

- "Courtney wants to take legal action!"

- "Courtney wants to be an American Idiot."

- "Courtney wants control."

- "Courtney wants foster teens to have a fairer shot at adulthood."

- "Courtney wants them to run away together to escape the murder charges."

Courtney wishes...

- "Courtney wishes she wore huggies."

- "Courtney wishes she could say she has lived in numerous fabulous places."

- "Courtney wishes Mavis would say something nice to Rita for a change."

- "Courtney wishes she could claim credit for that one."

- "Courtney wishes to address the Board concerning potential art works for the Avondale ward."

Courtney used to...

- "Courtney used to go by the nickname Coco."

- "Courtney used to spend the sundays playing cricket."

- "Courtney used to work for Versace."

- "Courtney used to walk on her tip toes and with her left leg bent inwards."

- "Courtney used to have a friend named Merry Weather Whiskers."

Courtney likes to...

- "Courtney likes to stack the cookies into a tower and she'll purposely knock them over and proclaim "just like Green Puppy!"

- "Courtney likes to wander around downtown Culver City looking like a downtrodden, underemployed, potentially violent and unpredictable Fraggle."

- "Courtney likes to read fantasy stories or play with dolls."

- "Courtney likes to dance to the same music track by the Venga Boys over and over again."

- "Courtney likes to drop in for a game of dominoes and would be thrilled to bowl for them again, if Jamaica and West Indies concur."

What does Google say about YOU?

Monday Ramblings.

2009-04-06T10:53:00.000-07:00

Had a hard time waking up this morning. Thank you, iced coffee provided by Organic Sales.

A co-worker and I took time out of the hectic office last week and went to do work at a local Starbucks. While sitting in the not-so-comfy chair, I began noticing how loud it was in the tiny place. I am not talking about the machines grinding coffee and blending frappuccinos, but rather the employees were the cause of the unpleasant noise. They were yelling back and forth from behind the counter about last weekend's party, their tone was loud at every transaction and then, the most horrific thing I have ever seen happened in a Starbucks: an employee SHOUTED (not an exaggeration) at a customer who walked in the door, "Hi! Welcome to Starbucks!" I thought for a moment that I was at a Cold Stone, listening to ice cream scoopers being pounded against the frozen slab and some employee singing, "Tip-itdy do da, Tip-itdy day!" Isnt' Starbucks supposed to be "a haven, a break from outside"? Maybe I am reading too much into it, but this Starbucks was anything but a relaxing coffee shop where I could relax and work in peace. This is why I never did homework at Barnes and Noble.

Amy Poehler's new show starts Thursday. Even if you are not interested in watching it, please just turn on your TV, set the channel to NBC and then mute the sound and read. I want those ratings to soar. Or at least get off the ground.

Twenty-Two.

2009-04-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about who or what has shaped me into who I am and who I hope to become. Obviously Broadway, comedy and good television are the what's, but I think the who's are more important. While it is not everyone, this is a list of people who have been a part of my life in one way or another and have helped design the me-shaped mold. Twenty-two: one person for every year of my life...so far. While some of them are serious and some are just funny memories, the point is: I am thankful for all of them.

1. Aimee McDivett has the most gentle heart of anyone I have ever met. I miss her terribly.

2. Brooklyn Wagner is.

3. I regret not knowing Chris Richey sooner than my Senior year of college.

4. I once drove to the Grand Canyon to see the sunrise with Christine Pena.

5. Corie Kiker and I once dressed up like the painting “American Gothic.” It got us in the Hume Lake video.

6. Dana (Shaffer) Kleiman is the reason I can handle conflict.

7. I wish I was as comedicly brave as Greta Anderson. Comedicly is not a word.

8. Hope (Rhodes) Bartel was my first best friend.

9. I have never written as many notes as I have to Jaclyn Trotter.

10. Jennifer Rundgren almost killed me and four other people by driving on the wrong side of the road.

11. JP Dorn gives the best hugs.

12. Kelly Kiker dated the first two guys I ever had a serious crush on.

13. Kristen (Graves) Saham is a part of almost every good college memory.

14. My all time favorite laugh comes from Lauren (Lane) Bunnell.

15. Niki Quinby has a contagious heart for the nations.

16. Nikki (Howell) Nisly taught me how to make Angel Food Cake. It was one of my favorite days in college.

17. Russell Shelton is part of the reason I survived two years of UCO rehearsal.

18. Sarah Goldsmith taught me how to react.

19. Shaun Croshaw made high school hilarious

20. Steffanie Jarrell is the best friend I’ve ever had.

21. Stephanie (Stafford) U’Ren sent me one of my all-time favorite text messages: “Sing to the tune of ‘Come Now Is the Time To Worship’: Come now is the time for dinner. Come, now is the time to eat caf food.’” I still have it in my phone.

22. I miss Veronica Miele.

Thanks to the twenty-two of you. You are all pretty awesome.

Survival of the Studious.

2009-03-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

This is what my desktop looked like for about six hours yesterday.

But, I have now officially completed my first two courses in grad work. It isn't much, but it is a start and now I have a break until June so I can fully focus on Russia, which is quickly approaching.

Part of my final project for my class was to write a paper on the books/authors/poems/plays/short stories/etc. that have influenced me as a reader and a writer. Excuse me? I am required to talk about books that I love in a paper? For a grade? AMAZING. Here are my selections, listed by author and not importance. If you have not read these, please do so. If you want an explanation as to why they are on the list, ask.

- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer

- The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne

- "The Wife's Story," Urusla K. Le Guin

- To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee

- The Road, Cormac McCarthy

- The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison

- Ariel, Sylvia Plath

- The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

A Portable Anthology.

2009-03-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

I highly recommend this collection of short stories. Brilliantly selected pieces and a wonderful variation of creative writing.

I am sick again. Really would have liked to stay at home, but I have already missed too much work and am leaving for 3 weeks in 48 days. So here I am, complete with socks, slippies, a heating pad, a LARGE glass of water and DayQuil. And my dose of vitamin C (an orange) made my desk sticky.

Last week's "The Office" was long coming, yet surprising. We'll see where they go from here. Happy Thursday.

"Oh, yes, I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause."

-Stanley Hudson

There Are Going To Be Changes.

2009-03-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

There is a tiny part of me that will always miss Barnes and Noble. Mornings there are warm and comforting and familiar.

HTML is hard. Thank the Lord for my Mac and Expose/Space. What would I do without you?

Schrute Farms.

2009-03-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

"So I'll come get you for the table-making demonstration. And as of this morning we are completely wireless here are Schrute Farms. But as soon as I find out where Mose hid all those wires, we'll get the power back on. Alrighty!"

- Dwight Schrute

The Common Denominator

2009-03-18T16:41:00.000-07:00

I consider the founder of comedic female power to be Lucille Ball. She had timing, she mastered physical comedy and she was the driving force behind the most successful TV show of the 1950's...and performed it LIVE. Every week. Without a doubt I credit my obsession with comedy to the days of watching "I Love Lucy" in my living room on Saturdays and being mesmorised by her constantly flawless performances.

BUT

The world of sketch comedy owes its eternal thanks to a different funny female. It was not until recently that I made the decision to study SNL and learn the history of the industry I am working towards entering with full force. And I was pleased to discover one of the most important improv performers of all time: Gilda Radner. What I was doing claiming to love SNL and knowing nothing about Gilda Radner is now a mystery to me. Not only was she a solid member in the groundbreaking first five seasons of the show, but she was the first actor cast for SNL back in 1975, the ONLY actress to win an Emmy for the show and is the main reason Tina Fey got into comedy writing.

Oh, Those Egrets.

2009-03-12T09:35:00.000-07:00

"Maybe there's some sort of animal that we could make a sacrifice to? Like a giant buffalo, or some sort of monster. Like something with the body of a walrus, with the head of a sea lion. Or something with the body of an egret, with the head of a meerkat. Or just the head of a monkey, with the antlers of a reindeer, with the body of a porcupine."

-Michael Scott

Things and Things and Things.

2009-03-06T15:44:00.000-08:00

We took Lucy to the park for the first time last Saturday. Pretty sure she loves the park more than me now.

Patti Lupone was on "30 Rock" last night as Frank's mother. It may have been the best surprise of the season. Either that or "I'm-a call you back, I's snitting next to Barpo." It's a toss up, really.

And now, a rant about Broadway musicals:

"Annie" is a sad musical! Has anyone ever paid attention to the lyrics of "It's a Hard Knock Life"? Here's a little gem to perk your day, "No one cares for you a smidge when your in an orphanage." I know it has a happy ending, but wow! Talk about a bummer.

"Les Miserables" is another bummer show. Awesome, but a bummer. I guess "The Phantom of the Opera" falls in that category as well but, c'mon, it's just that good.

I think "Rent" fans are the scariest fans of all the shows. I don't mess with you guys. You get all defensive and starting singing "Will I" in perfect harmony and then I am just confused.

How was "Cats" the former longest running musical of all time? It is a 2+ hour show with about 30 minutes of dialogue and 30 minutes of singing and the rest is just weird Cirque Du Soleil people running around in cat costumes singing T.S. Elliot poems. Bizare things happened in the 80's.

I have always (well, for the past six years) wondered why "Thoroughly Modern Millie" didn't do so well on Broadway. It was awesome. Time for a revival cast. Seven years is an appropriate time for a musical to take a break, right? I mean there have been, what, 70 revivals of "Gypsy"? Okay, so only five, but still.

Why does Disney insist on trying to make their movies into successful musicals? You pulled it off with "Beauty and the Beast" and "The Lion King," but leave the others alone. "The Little Mermaid," "Tarzan," and "Mary Poppins" all worked fine as movies. Just let them be movies. And you, Dreamwork, making "Shrek: The Musical." Shame on you. Unless it gives Sutton Foster another Tony, then good jarb.

I want to be Sutton Foster. She changed my life.

Then Patti Lupone went and changed my life again.

"Spamalot," "Into the Woods" and "[title of show]" are all brilliant. It's okay if you don't get most of the jokes in them, a Broadway fanatic will translate them for you.

I miss you, Broadway. Don't have too much fun without me.

God, According to Michael Scott

2009-03-05T11:49:00.000-08:00

"Spend your whole life trying to get people to like you and then you run over one person with your car, and it's not even one of the popular ones, and everybody gets on your case. Doesn't make any sense. God is dead."

-Michael Scott

Oscar Gold.

2009-02-26T09:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, NBC, this is the second week in a row where you have not shown a new episode of "The Office." What is the deal? You are just going to leave us hanging with the Michael/Holly situation? This does not make me happy. Thankfully, there is reliable ol' "30 Rock" to pick up on an Office-less Thursday.

Sunday was the perfect day. Krispy Kreme donuts. Disneyland with my two favorite people. Not a drop of rain. Hardly any crowd in the park. Bread bowls. Oscar party. Homemade lasagna. A great production put on by the Academy. The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have Monday off to relax, but God provided strength and awake-ness.

The 81st Academy Awards was quite the show this year. Hugh Jackman did a descent job as the host, even though he was on stage for little more than the opening act. It is hard to top Billy Crystal or Ellen. Big surprises of the night: Penelope Cruz winning Best Supporting Actress. I would have loved to see Amy Adams take home the Supporting Actress Oscar, but I have not seen either "Doubt" nor "Vicky Christina Barcelona" so my opinion was purely biased towards Katie the handbag girl from season two of "The Office." Sean Penn winning Best Actor for "Milk" was definitely unexpected. I thought for sure Mickey Rourke had sealed the deal with his "rise from the fall" personal story matched with the performance given in "The Wrestler," but apparently not. My personal favorite surprise: Tina Fey, duh. She and Steve Martin gave out the Oscars for Best Original and Best Adapted Screenplay. It is a good thing I did not know she was going to be in Hollywood FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS YEAR or else Dana and Steffanie would have enjoyed not Disneyland but sitting in the bleachers outside the Kodak hoping to get a glimpse of her (wow, that sounds creepy...). Regardless, it is nice to know the Academy recognized what The Screen Actor's Guild, The Emmy's, The Golden Globes and the millions of people who watch "30 Rock" every Thursday already knew: Tina Fey is the most important female in television.

Of course I cannot talk about The Academy Awards without mentioning Kate Winslet FINALLY winning a MUCH OVERDUE Oscar. Although I am disappointed she won for a role that was so scandalous, I am very, very happy to see her amazing performances recognized and acknowledged. I was afraid she was turning into the Susan Lucci of film, but thankfully her losing streak ended after 7 and not 19. And to win in a year when you are nominated with such amazing talent! I mean, Kate Winslet BEAT Meryl Streep! Not many actresses can say that. In fact, I don't think many actresses want to. I would be scared for my life. Meryl Streep knows people. And Anne Hathaway gave a brilliant performance in "Rachel Getting Married." Who knew Princess Mia was Oscar worthy?

Without a doubt, the best moment was hearing the words, "Slumdog Millionaire" spoken after "and the Oscar for Best Picture goes to..." Not only was it a great movie with a positive message, but the story behind it and how it has turned into "the little move that could" makes it's Oscar win that much more amazing. The perfect way to end the show.

Now that the dramatic movie stuff is over, bring on Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

Also, my dog is now a thief. I have the proof. Sorry, Brooklyn. I'll get you your money back.

Nations, Accountability and "Office" Quote Thursday.

2009-02-12T08:54:00.000-08:00

I am sick. Two things are to blame for this: Intensive Training Weekend and Steffanie. The first because I had little sleep, was running around all day & night and was outside in the rain, so clearly my body was run-down and tired by the time Sunday night rolled around. The second because, obviously, she had a cold first and then waited till I came home with my run-down immune system and gave it to me. So now I am forced to eat stuff like instant oatmeal and be in a constant conversation with Ricola. Thankfully, and this is the silver lining, I have Monday off. Yeah for random holidays that don't really mean anything to you until your office closes down in honor of them.

ITW was amazing. Thank you to those who helped out. It was so refreshing to get a serious dose of reality and perspective. It is amazing how easily ethnocentrism can sneak up on you. I remember leaving the country for the first time and being blown away by the fact that these people were not Americans. They did not care about President Bush. They didn't care about gas prices being $4.59. It was bizarre. And I was in CANADA. Like Canada is really a foreign country. Now, after three years of growth, I feel my worldview is much more broad. So thanks to the people who helped pry open my eyes to the world outside Corona, California.

I am somewhat of a literary paradox. I like being verbose, but I also like minimalism. Like this, for example.

I am very excited for ISP. It is ridiculous how God has a plan for everything. EVERYTHING. And how having faith in His plan and not your own will take you places you never thought possible. I believe He has been preparing me for this trip for years. I am nervous to be in a leadership position, but I think the training He has given me over the past year has prepared me far beyond I could have planned. Thank you, Dana, for teaching me the importance and skill behind confrontation. I seriously don't know what I would have done without you, and you probably didn't even know you trained me.

And now, a soapbox moment and I apologize if this is a rant. Here is my struggle and, believers, feel free to chime in. It irks me to know end when fellow Christians point out something in another believer's life that does not line up with God's word and the person is upset about it and becomes defensive. It drives me even more insane when the issue is pointed out in a manner of love and humility and it is misconstrued as judgemental or accusatory. Let me say this: GOD CALLS US TO KEEP EACH OTHER ACCOUNTABLE. It's the BASIS of Christian relationships. Without the church, without accountability, without SOMEONE holding us to the perfect standard of God, we are going to fail. Another thing: the Bible does not say, "judge not." It says, "Judge not lest you be judged" (Matthew 7:2). Meaning, "Hey, don't judge people unless you are willing to put yourself under the microscope." But if we are supposed to be watching out for each other, shouldn't we be thankful when a believer points out an area of correction, even if it hurts? I am confronted for my pride and the way tone that I use ALL THE TIME and I am so thankful for those of you who have helped keep me in line. Can't we all have that understanding?

Enough seriousness. "The Office" is on tonight. For those who missed last week: Michael is going to go get Holly. I am VERY excited for tonight's episode!

Thanks for reading. Here's your quote:

"I have been involved in a number of cults- both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader."

-Creed

Office Quote Thursday and Then Some.

2009-02-05T09:08:00.000-08:00

I would live here. For sure.

Disclaimer: this is going to be all over the place. Brace yourself.

God is doing some things, let me tell you. I was going to go to Tokyo, Japan to work with university students. I am now going to St. Petersburg, Russia to work with orphans. Talk about a downgrade in food quality. It was a pretty interesting transition for me and a very good lesson in following God's plan and not your own. Ask me about it. I'd be happy to share. Pray for my team and the children we are going to be witnessing to in May.

This was a good text message to receive: "I think if you were living Tina Fey's life and she were living yours, she would be YOUR biggest fan."

- Brooklyn Wagner

I hate traffic. HATE it. Especially when it's only one way. Especially especially when it's only my way. Everyone always says, "How can there be traffic if we are all going the same speed in the same direction?" Well, everyone, it's because we are not all going the same speed. You have the lunatics who drive in the triple digits and the cautious who stay around 45 mph that the rest of us have to accommodate for. Then, of course, add in the crazies who decide to basically drive on the bumper of your car or dodge in and out of lanes like they were in a live version of Frogger. But I have developed a theory: if we all drove the speed limit there would be much less traffic. Ever notice how there is hardly any traffic on rainy days? It has to be because everyone is driving with caution and under 70 mph. Obviously having a million people living in one city causes traffic as well, but isn't it time we do our part to alleviate it? In all honest, it should not take me an hour to get from Chino to Riverside. That's a mess. So please, everyone, do me a favor and just (____).

As is now obvious, I have a bit of a commute to work and music does not always cut it. I love driving with music, but sometimes a bumper to bumper to bumper morning calls for hearing another person's voice. So I have taken to listening to the radio. And it is terrible. I GUARANTEE in the time it takes me to get to work in the morning I will hear three if not all of the following songs: "Single Ladies," "Love Locked Down," "Heartless," "Hot N Cold," "Womanizer," or "Just Dance," . GUARANTEED. Did all the radio stations loose a bet to these artists? I feel like I am in "Groundhog's Day" or something less cliche.

Speaking of Kanye West, he recently said he is the voice of my generation. Um...not for me. I did not vote for you to get that title. But thank you for applying.

My all-time favorite American Idol contestant auditioned again this year. Alexis Cohen. She was much more entertaining last year, but it was still nice to see her crazy face. I'd vote for you, you Grace Slick/Janis Joplin/glitter infusion.

Since you are already on YouTube, please watch this clip from "The Ellen Degeneres Show." The title alone promises a laugh.

I missed New York a lot this week. And college.

I miss college on a pretty frequent basis. All I want is one more of everything. one more game of Mario Party on Dana's LoveSac while singing the song "Loooooove Sac is a lil old place where we can get to-ge-therrrr." One more lunch with Brooklyn and Liz. One more lunch with Kristen and Veronica and Dana and Nikki and Niki and Steffanie showing up late and leaving early. One more lunch with Lauren and Aimee and Lindsey and Megan. One more choir rehearsal. One more R.A. meeting. One more hour in Huntley's office reading haiku. One more class with Dr. Davis-Hayes discussing Alice Paul. One more choir nap. One more 2:30 am conversation in Cottage 12. Just one more day in college where all my favorite things are rolled into one and then I can say goodbye and walk away and not be haunted by it anymore. See, Doc, THIS is what happens when you ask college seniors to leave for tour two hours after graduation. They don't process the ending of four years of freedom under the guise of academia.

On the other hand, having money and my own apartment is a pretty glorious thing. Never mind. I don't want to go back to college.

During the Super Bowl, NBC debuted a trailer for their new show "Parks and Recreation," written by the minds behind "The Office" and starring...that's right...Amy Poehler. I cannot wait. I love Amy Poehler's comedy and I am really hoping that her show does well. She is a pretty ridiculous improv actress and deserves to be showcased. And she left "Saturday Night Live" for this, so if it is a flop I am basically going to write her several hundred letters begging her to return to "SNL." Just kidding, of course. I'll probably only write like two letters.

Oh my gosh that was a lot. Here's your prize for surviving this post: the promised "Office" quote:

"Here we go. Everyone, this is a day that will live in infamy. 'Cause today is the day that Jim and Pam become one. I love you guys so much."

-Michael Scott

Office Quote Sunday...?

2009-02-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

I love the Super Bowl. Lots of people. Good food. High energy. Hour long episode of "The Office."

"I have been compared to a young Paul Newman. It's the eyes, and the face, I guess. Also, I make my own salad dressing. I mix Newman's Italian with Newman's Ranch. I sell it at flea markets for a small loss. I could make a profit if I changed on of the ingredients to Wishbone, but I won't do it."

- Michael Scott

All Over The Map.

2009-01-26T09:31:00.000-08:00

America has a new President. I am excited to see how the next four years are shaped. TO BELIEVERS: please, please, please remember that our one duty is to reflect Christ in all we do. We are not called to be wrapped up in concerns of politics, but concerns of the kingdom. Be praying for our leader and those under him, just as you would pray for your pastor guiding his congregation. Most importantly, do not, for one moment, forget that the one leading us holds a much greater title than any we could provide. President Obama's got nothing on God. Except maybe a really cool tie, or two.

It is time to admit it. I am a little embarrassed that almost all my posts are about or discuss 1.) Tina Fey, 2.) 30 Rock, 3.) Saturday Night Live or some cast member and/or, 4.) The Office. I think it might be time to change the title of this blog to, "Television Would Be A Much Less Funny Place Without NBC," or "Apparently I Do Nothing But Watch NBC." I refuse but, to keep with the tradition, I am going to MENTION that Tina Fey won at the Screen Actors Guild Awards last night. Yes, as did Alec Baldwin for a character created by Tina Fey, as did "30 Rock"...a show created by Tina Fey. I love it. Mainly because everytime Tina Fey walks away with recognition it gives me more reason to say that TINA FYE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A SARAH PALIN IMPERSONATION. 2009 is shaping up to be a pretty awesome year.

But enough about Tina, and on to a more mature, sophisticated and refined topic: The Academy Awards. Oscar season is well under way and movies are campaigning for Oscar gold harder than Hilary for the Presidency. Every year I say I am going to see every movie nominated for Best Picture. In the 22 years I have been alive, last year was the first year I ever accomplished that goal. I have a feeling this year will end my one year streak, mainly because of "The Reader." From what I hear it is pretty scandalous. I will be very excited for Kate Winslet if she wins, considering she is one of the best contemporary actresses, but it will be bittersweet knowing she won for a role that is filled with unneeded sexuality. I know this may be a touchy subject, especially when you bring art and sculpture into the debate, but I think sex and/or nudity is rarely needed in film. You can show the naked backside of someone and get the message across that no clothes are being worn. Sex can easily be implied, making a "Atonement"-esque scene obsolete. I think what bothers me the most is that behavior like this is glorified. Actresses are awarded for taking their top off. My point, and main questions is where is the line drawn between art and pornography?

I know, I know...my feminism is showing.

Thoughts?

Office Quote Thursday.

2009-01-22T08:51:00.001-08:00

Today's quote comes from "Fun Run," where Meredith discovers she has rabies...after being hospitalized for being hit by Michael's car.

"One day Michael came in complaining of a speed bump on the highway...I wonder who he ran over then?"

- Jim Halpert

Fake Queen and Office Quote Thursday.

2009-01-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

One of my gifts this past Christmas was a 2009 desk calendar. I received this for two reasons: A.) I now have a desk and it was a celebratory gift and B.) It is a calendar of quotes from "The Office." Wanting to share some of these delicious quotes with everyone who reads this blog (thank you, you two), I have decided to post a Quote of the Day every Thursday that "The Office" is on. Therefore, I officially announce that "Office Quote Thursday" is to commence from henceforth!

Apparently I turn into Queen Elizabeth on "Office Quote Thursday" as well.

Either way, enjoy.

"Ryan wants everything in our company to be about e-mails and IM's. But I think he is forgetting about the original instant message: letters attached to baskets of food." -Michael Scott

Cougar-Letter You CAN Suck It.

2009-01-12T22:34:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness.

This would not be my blog if I did not talk about Tina Fey, WHO WON THREE GOLDEN GLOBES LAST NIGHT. True, one of them was Alec Baldwin's win, but SHE created the character and SHE writes the lines he speaks, so I think it is a shared win. Best Actor in TV Comedy, Best Actress in TV Comedy, Best TV Comedy. All "30 Rock." To say that Tina Fey is on top of the world and probably the most influential person in comedy is stating the obvious. I've never been more proud to call myself a fan. I probably win the Followship Award.

Short triumphs from the Golden Globes: Kate Winslet wins. Twice. Heath Ledger. "Slumdog Millionaire" (go see it, please. Give money to a movie worthy of your hard earned and precious $10). FINALLY the Hollywood Foreign Press gives awards to actually winners.

"Saturday Night Live" was one of the the best of the seasons. Neil Patrick Harris. The Doog. Who knew? A Broadway sketch (in which, by the way, The Phantom is the coolest in the cast, so suck on that "Cats," "Rent," "Avenue Q," and, most importantly, "Wicked."), an appearance by LIZA MINELLI and a Whopper Mock Commercial that left me in fits of laughter ("...and a hamburger on her head!"). Please go look at the clips. Well done, Seth Meyers.

I was the Rural Juror today. Except I didn't do any rural juror-ing.

My dog is ridiculous. She barks at her reflection. Also, she can semi-fly.

"Inside the Actor's Studio" returned today. Laura Linney kicked off the 2009 season. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed her interview. Fascinating childhood, amazing resume and best answer to, "If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you reach the pearly gates?" "Rehearsal is at ten." Ricky Gervais is up next week. May God have mercy on us all.

Oh yes, 2008 ended. 2009 is here. 2008 was a crazy, crazy year. One that held the two biggest moments of my life: college graduation and a long-overdue trip to New York City. Also, I fell in love in 2008. With the Bloomin' Onion. Thank you, Outback. And The Jarrell Family. In no particular order (mainly because I already listed the top two and the others pale in comparison), here are other highlights of 2008: Virginia & Washington D.C., Lucy-bug, new car, new apartment, concerts galore (Feist, Oasis + Ryan Adams + Matt Costa, Celine Dion, etc.), my last choir performance, Rachel getting locked out on a daily basis, Dwight Schrute's Army of Champions reigning destruction at Campus Day, The Getty, brother's graduation, weddings, weddings and more weddings, Fall Day with two of my favorite people, getting my ears pierced, seeing "The Phantom of the Opera" for the 3rd, 4th and 5th time, surviving my Capstone, solving Rubik's Cube, four-hour lunches, Cottage 12, and moving in with the best person I know. After Tina Fey. Goodbye, 2008. You were pretty awesome.

While all of that was incredibly inconsequential and holds no importance, just remember: Tina Fey won.

Do-doo-doo, do-do. Do-doo-doo, do-do.

2008-12-22T10:10:00.001-08:00

The weather this Christmas season is amazing.

Every year I make a personal Christmas list of things I would get/give if money were no object and the impossible was achievable and "Christmas morning snow" always makes my list. This year might be my year. Of course, I know if it actually snowed in my part of Southern California, we sandal-wearing-tank-top-sporting-heat-dwellers would not really know what to do with ourselves, but snow on Christmas sounds so...traditional I just can't help but hope.

ANYWAY

Christmas music is THE way to get into the holiday spirit. Everyone has their favorite songs and for a long time I debated over which was my favorite (similar to my on-going "Boy Meets World" vs. "F.R.I.E.N.D.S." dilemma) and I have finally resolved that I do not have a favorite Christmas song, but rather several.

Here they are with all the trimmin's:

- Carol of the Bells: it's haunting and beautiful and so much fun to sing.

- O Holy Night: probably the most powerful of Christmas songs. Hearing someone hit this song out of the park is always impressive. Especially when that someone is Celine Dion.

- The Christmas Song: I love the lyrics in this song. "To kids from one to ninety-two," "Jack Frost nipping at your nose," "folks dressed up like Eskimos." Such lovable lyrics.

- Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas: so simple and yet has a really detailed origin. Take a look at the original lyrics, posted at the bottom of the link. It's funny to see how songs evolve.

- Little Drummer Boy: the Angela/Dwight rendition is especially good.

To sum up:

Merry Christmas.

Wish for snow.

Babies Ruin 'Saturday Night Live'.

2008-12-15T09:44:00.001-08:00

First of all, congratulations to Amy Poehler and Will Arnet for the birth of their son, Archie. Very exciting. And he owes me big.

First Tina, then Mya, now Amy.

Amy Poehler announced on Saturday that she is leaving 'Saturday Night Live.' Not only that, but Saturday was her last performance. Amy's gone. Just like that Switchfoot song says.

What a loss to improv TV. And, let's be honest, Improv TV doesn't really have a whole lot going for it right now. Amy was, arguably, the strongest female in the cast. AND UPDATE?! Who is going to fill her seat next to Seth Meyers on Weekend Update? If only.

In no particular order, here are classic Amy moments we and SNL must say a heartbreaking goodbye to:

- "Britney Spears is going to be writing a rap song about her life. 'I can't wait to hear that,' said no one."
- Katlin
- Hilary Clinton
- "Appalachian Emergency Room"
- "Ah! So many paper cuts!"
- The Needlers
- Nancy Grace
- Bronx Beat
- Sharon Stone
- Christian
- Sarah Palin Rap
- "Yeah, I farted. Jealous?!"
- Weekend Update.

Here's her goodbye video. Best of luck, Amy. Studio 8H will miss you.

Kristen Wiig, you are up.

P.S.- cutest picture of her and Will Artnet.

15-Year Old Courtney Is Freaking Out.

2008-12-11T11:04:00.000-08:00

"Hey Everyone,

As most of you saw from our little iChat (yes, it was really us), we have decided to go on tour next year while continuing to work on our album. We are working on tour dates now and can't wait to get out there and play for all of you - it's been too long! We'll announce tour dates soon so be sure to check back for updates. Have a safe and happy holiday and we'll see you on the road in 2009!

- No Doubt"

FINALLY

www.nodoubt.com

Inspired By Russell.

2008-12-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

Please do not:

-say "a whole nuther." "Nuther" is not a word.

-leave you signal on when you are not changing lanes or turning.

-change lanes or turn without signaling.

-misquote "Friends."

-leave the closet door open. Banshees.

-use the term "soild dove" too many times in one novel.

-read "The Lovely Bones."

-leave books lying around Barnes and Noble.

-say "irregardless." It doesn't matter if it is in "Mean Girls," it's not a word.

-think "Wicked" is the greatest musical on the stage. It's not.

-think Tina Fey is funny only because of the Sarah Palin impersonation.

-trick out your Honda Civic.

-talk about Facebook or Myspace in real life (Russell).

-point to your wrist when you are asking for the time.

-hate on The President. Disagree with? Yes. Hate on? No.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. (Apparently an Amendment is needed here: This does not mean "Do no MAKE FUN of the President," it means what it says, "Do Not HATE ON him." In case I have not made it painfully obvious, I am the biggest SNL fan, a TV show that makes fun of the President almost every week. Yet their jokes are a satire and based on truth. Making fun of is one thing, hating is another, "kid.")

-try to sing like Celine Dion. No one is as good as she is. Sorry.

-underestimate Britney. "Womanizer. Woman, womanizer you're a womanizer, oh womanizer. Oh you're a womanizer baby."

-use "So are there any cool clubs around here?" as a pick up line in Chipotle.

-feed the monkeys.

You are welcome.

Celine Dion is.

2008-11-30T21:27:00.000-08:00

AMAZING.

Easily, one of the best performers I have seen live. Perfect. Flawless. Glorious. Amazing.

"All By Myself" was...the best three minutes I have ever spent where I was not speaking a word.

Okay, I am being a bit dramatic but, let's face it, Celine is about as dramatic a performer as they come, so I have to keep up.

And great legs for a 40 year old...from the point of view of another straight woman.

I only wish there could have been a French clown rolling a giant blue ball across the stage for thirty minutes going, "eye yai yai yai yai yai yai yai yai yai yai."

Maybe next time.

Anyway.

I start my new job tomorrow.

"I sing you to me."

2008-11-26T23:13:00.000-08:00

Guinea Pigs can swim.

(Don't ask how I know that).

"Australia" was good, despite what the critics are saying. It is not "Moulin Rouge," but nothing will ever be. Except for "Chicago."

Ragtop.

2008-11-26T16:02:00.000-08:00

In my old car, you could put your hand up against the roof and feel the raindrops. After four years of raindrop feeling, rainy days now make me miss my old car.

"I" Minus Two.

2008-11-22T23:08:00.000-08:00

I have often wondered which is the best approach to these things: to blog every thought and detail of the day or to reserve your posts for more rare occasions. I think it obvious that I prefer the later.

I finished "The Lovely Bones." Terrible. To every customer I naively suggested this book to, unaware of what I was asking you to invest your time in to, I apologize. On to a different interpretation of "literature." Review to follow only after I have read it in its entirety.

I am leaving the book industry. For now. Perhaps I will show up again on the Barnes and Noble radar somewhere in Greenwich Village or Times Square (Dear Lord, I hope not...), but it is a final goodbye to the Corona store. I am off to a desk job. An office job.

I am going back for my Masters. January 5th, 2009. MCW600. Pedagogy of Creative Writing.

All these paragraphs start with "I." Except for this one."

"Family Guy" is brilliant.

I am going to see Celine Dion in concert in one week. Celine. Dion. Live. Details to follow in great description, I am sure. Dion.

I have fallen in love with "30 Rock." If you don't watch it, I am sad for you. Jump on the bandwagon now, before it starts its fourth season and suddenly everyone loves it and thinks it is amazing ("The Office....").

I saw "Changeling." SPOILER ALERT: Why were there so many famous murders that took place in Southern California that are now being turned into movies? Wineville Murders, The Black Dahlia, Zodiac. Honestly, what is wrong with Southern California that we attract all the crazies? Must be In-N-Out. Mmmmm, Double Double. In other movie news, I am very excited about Baz Luhrmann's new film. It is released in four days. Finally.

I can now solve Rubik's Cube in under eight minutes.

I got nothin' else.

That post sounds incredibly arrogant. It's not meant to be. Trust me, I am not that important. In-N-Out is.

Das Auto.

2008-10-21T21:12:00.001-07:00

A LOT has happened.

I FINALLY got my Jetta. FINALLY. Waited I don't know how many years, I stopped counting long ago. Phoebes served me well. Still not really sure what to do with her. New car is appropriately named Tina Fey. Not just Tina, not just Fey, but Tina Fey. Reasons: 1) She looks average on the outside but she is classy on the inside and 2) I really just love Tina Fey. Look for me and Steff driving around town all fancy-like.

I am officially a Mac user. Betta recognize. It doesn't have a name yet. Name soon to follow.

Tina Fey has been on SNL as Sarah Palin four separate times now. If you have not seen her impersonation, please go to NBC.com and look it up. Palin fan or not, you have to admit it is spot on, not to mention hilarious.

Speaking of Caribou Barbie: This election stuff is crazy. I cannot believe it is almost over. What are the newspapers and news channels going to cover when it is over? I forgot what life is like without a Presidential Campaign. At least for the last few weeks we haven't been bombarded by the 'latest news' in Hollywood or what Britney Spears is up to. Side Note: How funny is it that Joe Biden is from Scranton, PA? I wonder if he knows Dwight (Dwigt). To be honest, I am a little apprehensive to see what happens after our leader is announced. I hope the American people (Joe the Plumber, if you will) can ban together regardless the outcome and not continue to be so sided. It seems like we forget to do that after every election and it is only getting worse.

"Project Runway" is over. Good job, Leanne. We were rooting for you the whole time.

There is no job market. Work is not easy, by any means. I never wanted to become a person who worked only for a paycheck. I wanted to really enjoy my job and feel fulfilled by it. I hate that I am in a position in my life where that is not the case and where I only look forward to paydays instead of looking forward to workdays. I am thankful for it, especially as I see so many friends struggling to make ends meet, but it doesn't make it any easier when I am being yelled at by a customer because they don't agree with out return policy or when my store manager tells me I am not working up to par (when, honestly, I am working like crazy just to stay alive there) or when I have to work at 5 in the morning. Let me tell you all, Barnes and Noble is not easy. It is not the quiet bookstore we pretend it is. Yet here's the catch: I prayed for months for God to provide a way for me to not be so tight with my funds, and He's provided. Who am I to complain?

I have a very close friend who might be moving to Korea for a year to teach English. She is amazing and Korea has no idea what they have coming. I will be sad to see her go, but I know God is going to do amazing things while she is there. Be praying for her.

I am in love with "Mates of State". If you don't have their latest album, "Rearrange Us," go get it.

What is it about papercuts that makes your entire hand hurt? Again, another strike against working at a book store.

I might be going back to get my Master's. In Creative Writing. I want to follow in Tina Fey's footsteps. That's right, my new life goal is Saturday Night Live. So please, Lorne Michaels, give me a job.

Till next time.

I Told You So.

2008-10-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

I knew it wouldn't be long.

Rants.

2008-09-16T17:04:00.001-07:00

Five Things New York Has California Doesn't:

5) Constant Energy

4) Proximity

3) NY style pizza

2) NBC Studios

1) Broadway

I miss New York like a part of me has left. The odd thing is that it isn't a painful miss, it's more of a "I know I'll see you soon" miss. Like when you leave a good friend for a few weeks for...oh, I don't know...choir tour. Ever since I was young I thought New York must be the coolest place on Earth and I've always wanted to visit, possibly even live there. After having spent even a short ammount of time there it has become so clear to me that Manhattan is where I belong. Without sounding pretentious, Manhattan was more home to me in five days than Riverside has been in five years. Any career path I would ever dream of pursuing begins and ends in Manhattan: editor, creative writer, stage actor. It boggles my mind that a place exists where over 10 different Broadway shows are performed every day, all within a few blocks of each other. How can anyone resist that?

I want to work for Saturday Night Live. Honestly, when that show it at the top of it's game, it is genius. Did you see Tina Fey's impersonation of Sarah Palin during the opening sketch of the season premire? Brilliant. I could have been responsible for that. Ask Steffanie. The creative brilliance behind that show is glorious. I want that.

"The Office" starts next Thursday. I am working, so the long awaited "The Office Is Back Party" is no more. Sad, but the important thing is to pick up where Jim and Pam left off. And Dwight and Angela. And Michael and Jan. And Kevin and the new HR lady. Season five had better bring it.

I am reading Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. I've been told countless times how amazing it is and what a great book it is and how I should read it. Gotta say, 117 pages into it and I am not impressed. I'm hoping it picks up but so far I've found the writing to be a little overly dramatic and predictable.

I might be getting my Jetta soon. It's been 8 years. I think I've waited long enough.

Jimmy Fallon says.

2008-09-13T22:10:00.001-07:00

"I am only a pawn in Tina Fey's sick world."

Something to strive for: a chess piece on Tina Fey's game board of life.

Tarantulas are coming.

2008-09-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

Tarantulas have nothing to do with Patti Lupone. Just for the record.

"Gypsy" was the first musical I saw on Broadway. The Tony Award Winning 2008 production of "Gypsy" with everyone from the Tony Award Winning cast, including Patti Lupone. How lucky is that? Retrospect has allowed me to realize just how amazing that is for someone as in love with Broadway as I am. The album for the 2008 recording of "Gypsy" came out on Tuesday and Patti Lupone's performance is just as captivating in audio form as it was from the second row of the St. James Theater. If you are at all interested in Broadway, go buy it. If not the whole CD, go buy "Rose's Turn" and witness Patti Lupone blowing Ethel Merman's performance out of the water.

I am officially a manager at Barnes and Noble. Adding to (or inspite of) that, I am very, very thankful for the following:

- having Bravo on our TV again.

- owning season four of "The Office." Thank you, Steff.

- getting the settlement check for my car. Thank you, State Farm.

- that "Baby Mama" comes out on Tuesday. Fey and Poehler. Yes.

- that "Saturday Night Live" comes back on the 13th. Don't mess this up, Michael Phelps.

- that "The Office" comes back on the 25th.

- Patti Lupone.

- having friends who stick by me and help me be a grown up.

- Tina Fey.

God is stretching me in every direction.

I Don't Care What Anyone Tells You.

2008-09-02T20:42:00.000-07:00

I was the first one to notice the striking resemeblence between Sarah Palin and Tina Fey.

I'm not posting comparison pictures because:

A) Everyone else already has done so, and
B) You should research both women on your own.
(Look up Tina Fey first.)

I called it. Don't believe the hype.

Tina Fey for VP 2008.

These days.

2008-08-12T17:38:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin?

New York was amazing. I could easily take up an entire page on just how amazing it was and all the crazy/exciting/frustrating/

life-changing things that happened, but I won't. If you are interested in a more detailed account of the trip, read Steffanie's blog. To say the least, it was the best vacation ever. She won't admit it, but I am forever in debt to Steff for actually putting it together.

I officially hate AT&T and DirectTV. Here is the story: We have been without cable all summer for two reasons: 1) To save money and 2) All the good shows start up in September (a.k.a.- The Office, 30 Rock, SNL...NBC shows). So, since June, we have lived with blury basic cable. Then the Olmypics came to town...China and we decided we wanted cable to watch the world-wide event that only happens every four years. We ordered cable and TWO WEEKS after we were scheduled to have it installed (which was also the day of the opening ceremony), we get the cable guy (not Jim Carey) into our apartment at 9:30 in the morning. AT NINE-THIRTY THAT NIGHT (THAT'S RIGHT...A FULL TWELVE HOURS LATER) HE LEAVES AND WE STILL DO NOT HAVE CABLE. So instead of eating Chinese food and watching the grand opening ceremonies on our new cable, we sat and ate Chinese food while listening to the cable guy (still not Jim Carey) argue over the phone as to why we didn't get local channels...or any channels for that fact. Long story long, we have cable. Nevertheless, I do not want to talk to DirectTV again.

It's been a hard year. I was thinking last night about how many tough conversations I've had, the situations I've put myself in, the ways friendships have been tested and came to the conclusion that it has been a tough first half of the year. Of course there were good moments, lots of them, and they always outweigh the bad, but all of this to say thank you to those who stuck around and gave me encouragement or advice when I needed it.

Especially you. I owe you.

NYC.

2008-07-24T18:02:00.001-07:00

I'm coming.

Bind My Wand'ring Heart to Thee.

2008-07-15T22:57:00.001-07:00

Forget they are lyrics to a song. Just read it for the words.

"O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be. Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wand'ring heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, O take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above."

The power in those few lines is overwhelming, to the point where describing their importance is impossible. They have been my prayer as of late. Not that I am doing a good job at following it, by any means but, hopefully (and with a little Help), repetation will produce instinct.

Also, sidenote-quote:

"It's nice to know you have someone who feels guilty if they lie to you."
"You should write that down."

May. June. July.

2008-06-30T17:49:00.000-07:00

Because I am a minimalist when it comes to writing, here is a sample of what life has looked like post-CBU...in bullet form.

- I graduated.
- Said some goodbyes.
- I survived tour.
- Said some more goodbyes.
- My car broke.
- Kaylee's wedding weekend extravaganza.
- Got a new home.
- Went back to work.
- My car broke again.
- Finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
- Little brother graduated.
- Fought continuously with the internet.
- Solved the Rubik's cube.
- Upgraded to Double-Double plain with grilled onions.
- Watched a lot of "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman." A lot.
- Saw "The Happening."
- Sara and Andy got married.
- Bought some long-awaited bookshelves.
- Saw "Get Smart." ("Aim for the haystack, it's softer. You missed it.")
- Michelle graduated.
- Lauren and Kevin got married.
- I turned 22. Twice.
- Childhood friend got engaged.
- I decided to pick up a pen and start writing again.
- Still no direction in life.

"You Want To Give It A Go?"

2008-06-14T23:44:00.000-07:00

I thought long and hard about what my next post should be about, seeing as how the last month was a tornado of experiences: graduation, tour, my new apartment, going back to work full time. While I am sure all those events will come up eventually, there is a more pressing one at the moment, one that shares the true thoughts on my heart as of the last few days. One year ago today these girls, Amy and Rachel, came to Christ in Liverpool, UK. Since then, my heart has been so weighted down with worry for where they are, what they are doing, if anything I shared with them sank in and if God is still at work in Liverpool. Please join me in praying for them. Pray for Emmanuel Baptist Church in Liverpool, struggling to live out God's will in a country so lost. Pray for Pastor Allen and Ian and Andy and Hailey and Mike. I know these names don't mean anything to you, but they mean the world to me.

Leah told me that not every Book of Hope presentation is going to be a revival, that not every child that takes home a copy of the Book of Hope is going to run home and read it and have their life changed. She reminded me that so much of the work for God's kingdom happens behind the curtains, that there is a great chance we will never know the full impact made in our short trip overseas. Having faith that God is at work in ways we cannot see is the greatest challenge in missions, one that I face today.

I never thought the hardest part of my trip would take place a full year after I set foot in England. I honestly thought it was having to eat caf food at Bootle High.

On a MUCH lighter note: I love Bellatrix Lestrange.

Do They Have In-N-Out in Texas?

2008-04-29T00:22:00.000-07:00

I am officially done with college.

Last final=done.

Last paper=turned in.

Capstone=finished.

Done, done, done with my undergraduate career. It is crazy to take it all in and enjoy it at the same time. Half of me wants to put everything on pause and focus on it for just a second and the other half wants life to keep moving as it always has. I keep waiting for life to get back to "normal," but I have no idea what "normal" means anymore. For the past three years it was living on campus, the caf, choir and school. Free time during the day, best friends 30 seconds away, constant life. But now?

I am leaving for Texas at 1:45, Saturday, May 3, 2008. Exactly two hours and forty-five minutes after graduation is scheduled to end. The picture explains how I feel about it. If nothing else, it will be two weeks where I am going to truly learn what it means to rely on God's strength and God's strength alone. I can hope for the best and pray for peace but, to be honest...

Five days.

How Could I Forget?

2008-04-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

Why, oh why did God have to make me an alto?

I was raised on this. It is who I am. We went and saw the production in Orange Countin on April 4th, and I had not realized how much I really missed this part of my life. Nothing is quite like seeing the live version of the soundtrack to your childhood.

I hate sopranos.

It Will Always Remind Me of You.

2008-03-13T00:13:00.000-07:00

1. You're All I Have
2. Hands Open
3. Chasing Cars
4. Shut Your Eyes
5. It's Beginning to Get to Me
6. You Could Be Happy
7. Make This Go One Forever
8. Set the Fire to the Third Bar
9. Headlights on Dark Roads
10. Open Your Eyes
11. The Finish Line

It never ceases to amaze me at how powerful an impact music has on your life. A particular song comes on and you are instantly transported to a specific time in your life when you first heard this song or when it was on constant rotation in your car. All the emotions of that time, the joy, the stress, the elation, the frustration, the love, the pain; everything you felt is revived and feels like it is in the now and not the past. For example, there have been concerts this year where we have sung "Your Grace Still Amazes Me" and I got the nervous flutter feeling in my stomach I used to get on tour when I worried about who I was rooming with for the night or the fact that I was worried sick about someone living on the otherside of the world and had no contact with them or that Dana wasn't with me on this tour or that, to be honest, I was living in denial of the graduation ceremony that took place a day before we left for tour.

My biggest struggle of the past seven months has been to not live in the past and, I will admit, it is something that I have not handled in the best way and not a day has gone by where I haven't fought it, but I never truly understood the power of music until this summer. There were two CDs that I played on a daily basis through May, June, July and August (this being one of them) not only because they are amazing, but also to remind myself of the days that I was not ready to let go of. All of that to say that when I think back on my college life, this CD will be playing as the soundtrack to the best school year of my life. It is so deeply connected with college that I cannot hear one song from the CD without thinking of that Specific time in my life; Junior Year, Spring 2007. While I wouldn't trade what I have now, those will always be my sweetest memories. Thanks to those of you who made it that way.

If you don't own this CD, you need to. Go buy it.

Haiku.

2008-03-06T23:28:00.000-08:00

You loom above me-

Threatening my dear freedom.

I hate you, Capstone.

The Best Thinking Is Done Between the Shelves of BN.

2008-03-05T23:59:00.000-08:00

(Books customers left for me to put away on Friday night)

Last semester was a whirlwind experience, the result of thinking I could take 18 units (including two night courses), be an RA, be in UCO AND work part time at Barnes and Noble. To say the least, I was mistaken to believe I could do all of that with 100% heart and survive the semester. So this semester I went back to the formula I created in January of 2007; 18 units + RA + UCO + unemployment. But, being a seasonal employee at Barnes and Noble, I knew I had the chance of being called in to work a shift or two when needed. And I was called. And I worked a shift. Or two. And during those ten hours of work my mind began to wander (as it usually does after 34 seconds of little or no stimulation). And here are my wanderings:

- I hate children that stare. Honestly, give me a child that will not stop talking, one that pushes any and every button within their grasp, even a child who is crying (notice I did not say "screaming" or "throwing a fit"), but a staring child is, probably, the most awkward thing on the Earth. Don't believe me? You've obviously never had it happen to you. You try everything, smiling, waving, saying 'hello' and the kid won't stop staring. Like it knows something.

- I was putting back a misplaced copy of Mrs. Dalloway and there was a advertisement on the front of the book that read, "The book that inspired The Hours." I don't want to live in a world where a classic novel is reduced to an advertisement for a novel that won Nicole Kidman an Oscar. Brilliant performance, PS.

- There is a woman who comes to every UCO concert that looks like Trudy Wiegel from "Reno 911!" I realized this when I saw the DVDs for the show in the music department. I wonder if that woman knows.

- Bluetooth makes its users look like they are insane and talking to themselves.

- Most authors with a last name that start with a 'W' write really poorly written books. Honest. Go into your local Barnes and Noble, go to the fiction section, find last name W and scan the titles. It's disappointing for all us W's. I will have to use a pseudonym if I every want to publish anything.

- I know this is not P.C., but what is it about being old that makes people think they have the right to be rude? I'm just saying.

That's it. My bookstore rant. This is what happens when my mind is put to use. I end up thinking about things.

The Oscars.

2008-02-24T22:45:00.000-08:00

Probably the best year for the Academy Awards since the "Crash"/Reese Witherspoon win. Hats off to the winners that made the 80th ceremony an extra special one:

- Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood." Such a powerful performance.
- Marion Cotillard, "La Vie en Rose." I doubt anyone was expecting this win...least of all Marion Cotillard.
- Diablo Cody, "Juno." Only the best script ever. And last, but more importantly,
- Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, "Falling Slowly" from "Once." BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE SHOW. HANDS DOWN.

AND Kristin Chenoweth performed.

Well done, Academy.

The Saga Continues.

2008-02-19T23:28:00.001-08:00

For four long months I, along with countless other lovers of genuine TV, have been deprived of what is, in my humble opinion, the greatest show on TV today, "The Office." And yet, the writer's strike is over, the world is awakening to creativity again and "The Office" triumphantly returns April 10th, 2008. Unfortunately, because my life works this way, I will be in Arizona...on mini-tour...singing...in my UCO dress...in heels...wearing riduculous make-up and lipstick...wishing I was celebrating the return of "The Office." Such is life. Despite that, excited does not begin to describe my...excitment.

And a new Saturday Night Live starts this week.

And Tina Fey is hosting.

Yes, please.

Graduation in 74 days.

Yoer aOut.

2008-01-19T00:26:00.000-08:00

Rarely does one come across another kindred spirit that truly captures the essense of your soul. I have one friend who fits that description and one who is on her way. The latter of the two recently wrote a poem for me that, in my humble opinion, sums up the wit and humor that I think this world is lacking. With her permission, or at least as soon as I ask for it, here it is:

Yo Yo Yo What What!

My name is b.r. killin'

I aint like no other villian.

Everytime I drink my milk

my milk starts a'spillin'.

I aint got knobby knees

and neither do you

I wish I had a fro

or maybe hair like you.

Courtney, twiddle your thumbs

until we eat lunch together

then we laugh all the way.

(oh no, theres _______!)

We stop at "Ah'So"

and see nothin we like,

then we we get bombarded by hot guys

all of them named mike.

We're like "let just eat outside"

and maybe then go for a ride

in your little beaner car

and stop in to Star--

bucks! (pause, pause, pause)

which is where your BFF

Steffanie, works her fingers to the bone

you both got each other

at least you're not alone! :o

Heidi Klum says we're out

and we say, "you're dead!"

its always in and out and in and out...

That's what she said.

All credit to B.M.W.
(not the car)

Winter Is Long In the City.

2008-01-15T00:17:00.000-08:00

First, can I just say that I love this picture. Pam-A-Lam-A-Ding-Dong. Just love her.

It was an amazingly gorgeous day on Sunday. As if the wind rid Southern California of the post-holiday haze that seemed to settle in and brought in a fresh start.

I will be a college graduate in less than 110 days. I hope I have something to show for it.

Thankful.

2007-11-29T21:36:00.000-08:00

The holiday season has set in, complete with playing Christmas music on the radio to putting up decorations in the house. 'Tis the season for reflection and, although Thanksgiving has come and gone, here is a list of things I am thankful for:

- Memories
- Second chances
- Amazing friends
- Salvation
- "The Office"
- Being an alto
- Text messages at 1am
- Text messages as any am...or pm.
- Journals
- The humor section in Barnes and Noble
- Good health
- Saturday Night Live
- Itunes
- Cheese and crackers
- My laptop
- "Friends"
- Options for the future
- Will Farrell
- Digital cameras
- Road trips
- Weddings
- Spiritual correction
- Inside jokes
- England
- "The Simple Life"
- Sylvia Plath
- Doc-isms
- Friends who laugh for 3 minutes straight
- Long meals in the caf
- GRADUATION
- Having the freedom to take risks
- Jim Halpert
- Broadway and lastly,
- Best friend.
(Thanks for the picture.)

Hi-Diddle-Dee (An Actor's Life For Me).

2007-11-13T13:07:00.000-08:00

I miss the days when I wanted to live life from right here. The days when my biggest dream was to be center stage. It wasn't a vain dream in any way, simply a dream to spending my life doing what I love most for a living. I feel like it's time I strive to get back to that attitude.

I miss the stage.

When I Grow Up I Want To Be Tina Fey.

2007-11-03T22:41:00.000-07:00

I hope one day the brains behind the world's most sophisticated advancements in technology take time to invent a device that allows you to live the life of a different person (of your choice) for one day. Just in case this gadget hits the market in the near future, here is a list (in no particular order) of women who I would hope to live as for one day:

- Sutton Foster: every alto's role model

- Nicole Kidman: Moulin Rouge, The Hours, The Others, Days of Thunder...minus the last one they are all incredible

- Kristin Chenoweth: duh...

- Sylvia Plath: to walk that line of genius and insantiy

- Abigial Adams: any woman who thinks that without women men would be barbarians is someone I want to be friends with

- Sarah Brightman: to be the first Christine Daae

- Vivien Leigh: arguably the most brilliant performances caught on film

- Amy Poehler: "I'm gonna git me one of 'em kidney shaped bed pans und use hit for m candy dish"

- Helen Huntley: ...there are no words

- Hilary Swank: complete bravery

- Tina Fey: brilliance in writing, humor, and performance the perfect combination

There you have it. Women greater than me, and I gladly give them credit for it. Now I just have to wait for that invention...

Some Thoughts to Take With You.

2007-09-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

This quote was in our church bulletin this past Sunday. I read over it casually, without really taking it in, and stuck it in my Bible for safekeeping. It wasn't until reading it this morning, after a particularly hard week, that it turned from a quotation to a statement; lines on paper into daily prayers. I hope that they will stand out as a reminder of how we all should be viewing a life with Christ.

Teach me, O God, to use all the circumstances of my life today that they may bring forth in me the fruits of holiness rather than the fruits of sin.

Let me use disappointment as material for patience:

Let me use success as material for thankfulness:

Let me use suspense as material for perseverance:

Let me use danger as material for courage:

Let me use reproach as material for longsuffering:

Let me use praise as material for humility:

Let me use pleasures as material for temperance:

Let me use pains as material for endurance.

-John Baillie (1886-1960)

Legoland.

2007-09-16T18:47:00.000-07:00

I am thankful to be back on campus. Very thankful. Although it has been an adjustment, I finally see it as a blessing to have one last chance at this college-life thing. I do miss my double bed. And freedom.

A few weeks back, I had a particularly hard day at work. I had to be at the store early, work off of little sleep (due to a lively night of driving around town and, most likely, watching 'The Office' until 3am) and faced a long, 9-hour day of customers searching for ridiclous books and asking me to look up "ISBN Numbers." Irratated by work and then traffic, I thought I would outsmart every other driver and take the side streets home. Lo and behold, every driver in Corona was taking the side streets as well and it took me a grand total of an hour and fifteen mintues to make it to my house. Yet, something joyous from the drive came about:

I was stopped at a red light and read something written in the dirt on the back window of the SUV in front of me. It was not the expecting (and cliche) "Wash me" but something much more puzzling: "Legoland." Legoland was written on the back of this vehicle. Amused at how bewildering this was, I started laughing. Of course, the more I laughed the more ridiculous I found the declaration of "Legoland" and laughed more. I thought of all possible scenarios that would make writing "Legoland" on your car a sane idea and came up with only one: someone was excited about going to Legoland. Then it struck me.

I spend so much time worrying and complaning about the discomforts in life that I rarely take time to enjoy the little things that add up. I am blessed with so much in life and yet I daily search for the bad and annoying. I want to find joy in the little things, be it a trip to Legoland or a four-hour conversation with my best friend; free tickets to The Lion King or free toppings at Golden Spoon. To someone in that car a day at Legoland meant a whole lot more than the price of the ticket. I want to view life as so much more than just the things that get in the way of real joy, whether that is lunch or Legoland.

Philippans 4:4

New Beginnings.

2007-08-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

I didn't expect to mourn the loss of summer freedom as much as I have the past few days. While I was counting down the days until I was back on campus and closer to my best friends, I didn't realize I was also counting down the days until I had to kiss that freedom goodbye. I am glad to be back, and thankful to have another chance, but I really miss spending the night at my friend's apartment three times a week. I miss doing completely random things with my favorite people. I miss the conversations I had while driving to no where in particular. I miss the one-on-one time I got to have with friends. Not that I will never share in these experiences again, but so much has come out of time summer: security in one friendship, closure in another, discovering how all things reveal God's glory, a dose of financial dependency, travel opportunities to all over the states, Canada, England, Wales, and sunrise The Grand Canyon and more memories than I ever expected to make. It was the best summer yet.

I am learning more and more each day how God refuses to allow us to turn our backs on a lesson He is trying to teach us. No matter how fast we run or how hard we fight, there is no escaping His presence. There are so many things that I did not feel ready to face, and yet as soon as I am ready to flee the scene, God reveals that His glory lies in my trusting the path He has laid out for me. James 1:2-4 reads, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of you faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Incredible.

I have a feeling that is going to be my verse for the school year.

These Last Few Days.

2007-08-08T14:34:00.000-07:00

This time next week I will be back on campus. This seems unreal to me, considering I have really only had about a month and a half of summer, and not in consecutive order. With choir tour and ISP taking up most of my free months it would be easy for me to say I've had a complete summer, yet those aren't the memories that I will be sharing with my friends when they asked how my summer was. Dana's wedding, Harry Potter Night, a midnight run to the Grand Canyon, visiting a friend at Camp and having countelss conversations trying to figure out life will be the things I remember.

This time last year I was so excited for school to start I could hardly sit still. I had so much to look forward to: living with my best friend, being a Resident Assistant, RA Training with all my friends and UCO. My expectations were high, but not unreasonable. Now I face a new year, where my expectations are...muddled. While I am excited to see what the year will bring, I struggle to keep from holding it to my experiences from last year.

One of the most important things I learned last year was to use the motto, "Choose blessing over curse." While this was something I carried with me since hearing it for the first time last August, it wasn't until Choir Tour that it really made sense. I can determine the outcome of situations by my reaction to them. Do I pout because tour isn't where I want to be, or do I find new adventures with new people and enjoy it while it lasts? Do I stress over next year, or be thankful to have another chance?

Blessing Over Curse.